DELTA BitB SB Qualitative Report

The CDC Domestic Violence Prevention Enhancement and Leadership Through Alliances (DELTA) Impact program funded State Domestic Violence Coalitions to implement strategies and approaches designed to prevent intimate partner violence (IPV) who also funded local communities to do the same. The grant period spanned five years, from March 2018 to March 2023. In North Carolina (NC), the North Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCCADV) funded Domestic Violence Shelter and Services (DVSS) in Wilmington, NC to implement two program efforts, Shifting Boundaries and Bringing in the Bystander. The selection of these programs was based on the evidence of their effectiveness and their connection to risk and protective factors. They were specifically recommended by the CDC as effective programs for Creating Protective Environments (Shifting Boundaries) and Engaging Influential Adults and Peers (Bringing in the Bystander) as per the CDC’s Preventing Intimate Partner Violence Across the Lifespan Technical Package.

As mentioned above, we focused on risk and protective factors in identifying the programs. Risk factors are conditions, characteristics, or influences that can increase the risk that someone will perpetrate intimate partner violence while protective factors are conditions, characteristics, or influences that can mitigate the risk that someone will perpetrate intimate partner violence. Risk and protective factors can influence people at the individual, relationship, community, and societal levels. The Prevent Violence NC website is a good resource to learn more about risk and protective factors and the ways different types of violence are connected through those factors.

Shifting Boundaries is designed to reduce dating violence and sexual harassment among middle school students. The program includes a classroom curriculum as well as a tool called Hot Spot Mapping which focuses on the safety of the school environment. Under DELTA Impact, Shifting Boundaries was conducted at DC Virgo and New Hanover County Schools middle schools. Shifting Boundaries is an evidence-based curriculum recommended by the CDC as part of the improving safety and monitoring in schools approach to creating protective environments.

Bringing in the Bystander is a bystander intervention program that focuses on a community responsibility approach and teaches bystanders to intervene safely in instances where sexual violence, intimate partner violence (IPV), or stalking may be occurring or are at risk of occurring. Under DELTA Impact, Bringing in the Bystander was piloted at Cape Fear Community College and fully implemented in New Hanover County Schools high schools. Bringing in the Bystander is an evidence-based bystander intervention curriculum recommended by the CDC as part of the bystander empowerment and education approach to engaging influential adults and peers.

As part of our evaluation plan for DELTA Impact, we planned to conduct key informant interviews with school staff at DC Virgo, New Hanover County Schools, and Cape Fear Community College. The interviews focused on gathering information and insight from school staff in all the relevant settings around risk and protective factors that make IPV more or less likely to occur. This report of findings reflects the data collected from those interviews, which were facilitated by DVSS’s Prevention Specialist, Jenna Young. MSB Consulting, LLC supported the interview process by providing interview guides, training, and evaluation guidance. This report of findings was written by Latoya Pousa and Melissa Siegel Barrios of MSB Consulting, LLC with editing support from Jenna Young and NCCADV staff members, Rebecca Swofford and Elizabeth Sager.

I. Data and Methods

Data from this report comes from five interviews with school personnel including teachers/professors, school social workers, and administrators from New Hanover County Schools (K-12), DC Virgo (K-8), and Cape Fear Community College. The interviews took place between June 2020 and March 2022.^[¹^]

The interviews were semi-structured and followed a guide of questions and prompts. The questions focused on a few key areas: Gender Norms, Norms around Aggression, Norms Intolerant of IPV and Dating Violence, Sanctions related to IPV, and Resources and Capacity to Implement Shifting Boundaries and/or Bringing in the Bystander programming. All interviews were audio recorded and audio recordings were sent for human transcription through Rev. The transcripts were then cleaned and qualitative data were analyzed thematically using Dedoose Qualitative Analysis software. Key areas of interest were coded^[2] which make up the subsections of the Findings section of this report. Significant findings make up the bulk of this report and are included in the next section. Section IV presents overall conclusions and recommendations for consideration based on the findings detailed in this report. Additional methodological details (i.e. demographics, etc.) are located in Appendix B.

^[1] Due to delays and challenges interview participants encountered with the reforms in education during the COVID-19 pandemic, this timeline had to be extended.

^[2] Parent codes included: Gender Norms; Norms around Aggression; Norms Intolerant of IPV and Dating Violence; Incidents of Interpersonal Violence, Sexual Harassment, & Dating Violence; Impacts of the COVID-19 Pandemic; Resources and Capacity to Implement Shifting Boundaries programming; Resources and Capacity to Implement Bringing in the Bystander programming; and Impact of Programming

Qualitative Findings

Defining Gender

At the beginning of the interview, the interviewees, who are all personnel working in schools and on campuses, were asked to define gender. Many of the interviewees struggled with defining gender and many also talked about societal constructs related to gender:

[Participant 1] Ooh, that’s a hot-button issue right now. Oh, see, that’s so difficult… Yeah, I define gender as… Oh my gosh. Yeah, see, I don’t even know where to begin with this because people often think of it as your sex based on your external genitals at birth. “It’s a boy. It’s a girl.” But we know that gender identity is very different. So how do I define gender? Male and female or…Yeah, bizarre that I can’t define gender because I’m so afraid to define it incorrectly.

[Participant 2] Gender is… for society it is a societal box that you are to pick or be assigned to. In my opinion, gender is ridiculous. Gender is defined by the person and how they’re comfortable. And yeah, I think that we limit gender in this society to two and I think it could be way more.

[Participant 3] The cultural expectations that are connected to one’s biological sex and oftentimes that biological sex is presumed to be straight, XX female or XY male. Although that is not often the case, we don’t tend to leave a lot of wiggle room. Although today we’re starting to expand gender in ways that we have yet to fully do before…beyond the cultural definition of gender, I think gender is how we as individuals live out our feelings, how we want to be portrayed in society, our bodily images. Oftentimes that is connected to the biological sex, but sometimes it isn’t. So gender being more of the idea of like masculinity and femininity, as opposed to whether or not you’re male or female. And again, clearly masculinity is oftentimes connected to being the biological male and femininity is connected to be the biological female. But having that ability to live as how you feel, particularly in a, an advanced society such as ours, that’s becoming more progressive in those regards, allowing that male to have more feminine characteristics or the female to have more masculine characteristics than what was traditionally permitted.

A couple of them felt the word gender was irrelevant:

[Participant 1] No, because I don’t care about the definition of gender. You know what I mean? And so I don’t want to have a specific definition of gender. I get so angry when I think about people who were born inter-sexed and labeled a male because they kind of looked like they had a penis… And so I don’t go along with the gender stereotypes and norming so I have a hard time defining what is gender.

[Participant 2] It’s so funny, for me, gender is not a word. Gender to me doesn’t exist. For me, it’s really hard. Because I really do push people to just be who they are and stop defining it and putting a label on- labels end up becoming right or wrong, good or bad. So to me, gender doesn’t exist. Gender is fluid. And I like to have that conversation with young people and that you limit yourself, if you turn into two or if you try and limit what gender is. So I don’t know, it gets very messy to me because gender to me is, like I said, it’s just a dumb concept.

Two additional participants’ definitions of gender showed their struggle to incorporate a more fluid or spectrum-based understanding of gender with their rigid view of gender and understanding of gender-related terminology:

[Participant 4] I’m pretty old school, so I still define gender as boy/girl. However, I do know that there’s some fluidity in there. But I do still go towards the masculine or feminine because I think that’s what I grew up with.

[Participant 5] Gender, I would define as, I guess, a spectrum based on the outward… I guess gender is defined as the outward intent of a person… I’m trying to think of the word gender. How a person identifies themselves outwardly to other persons regarding either biological sex… The first thing I think of is the word identity, so how a person portrays that their gender is what I think of. So I think of identity and how a person chooses to portray their identity or their gender to others, those are pieces I think about.

Gender Demonstrations

All five interviewees agreed that demonstrations of gender are more flexible than they used to be. A couple of those interviewees expanded on that belief:

[Participant 1] I think in 2022, the gender demonstration flexibility is a lot greater than it used to be, and the acceptance of differences is a lot greater in our society than it was even five years ago.

[Participant 5] I think it depends on the age. Younger generation, I think is flexible. I think the older generation is pretty rigid.

Many of the interviewees talked about how they see demonstrations of gender mostly through outward appearances, this is an example of how interviewees framed this:

[Participant 1] I think the first indicator in how gender is demonstrated is visual appearance, does that person fit into the male box or the female box, and people are judged on appearance initially and determine or have a perception of what that person’s gender is. Whether they’re right or wrong, we don’t know.

Three of the interviewees noted how gender demonstrations for women specifically are more fluid than they used to be:

[Participant 1] Well, I think that people like to confine themselves to their gender assigned at birth if they’re comfortable with it. So they like to dress, dress and look and act… They choose to dress, look and act the part. But I think more and more people are fluid in dressing today or acting today or looking today like a male, but identifying as female. So I think it’s more, it’s not as rigid as it used to be.

[Participant 2] Yes, I would argue that I think girls are challenging it more than boys. Okay. But yes, I think it’s definitely more flexible, but I would argue the girls are allowed, in the culture of the school, to be more flexible than the boys.

[Participant 3] …females, you know, have more fluidity than males. Oftentimes look around my classrooms and make this point when we’re covering this topic. Like, you know, if you look around the room, there are a lot of females in the room that are wearing tee shirts and jeans. Sometimes they’ve even got a ball cap on or something like that. So dressed more “traditional male attire” where you don’t tend to look around the room and see many, if any men dressed in more feminine attire and the ones that are sometimes know that they’re, you know, putting themselves in a position for rather harsh treatment that they have to endure time and time again, unfortunately, because we do tend to be so rigid in that regard. It’s not like that everywhere in this country, you know, your more progressive cities. I think you’re gonna find more fluidity and more acceptance.

Gender in School(s)/Campus Policies

When discussing gender in school and campus policies, across interviews there was mention of how things have improved around gender in policies due to Title IX especially, but there were examples where there are still differences in school and campus policies around gender named. Three of the interviewees discussed the dress code as an area where there have been differences in policy based on gender and one even mentioned how racial discrimination was showing up in dress codes:

[Participant 1] That’s a hot-button issue that females seem to be targeted more for dress code, for being too revealing. And usually, only at the high schools. Sometimes middle schools. But most admin try to stay away from… discipline or calling a student out on the way they dress, implying that it’s too provocative or too revealing, because it sets them up for too much fire from the parents and/or community. But yeah, there is… I haven’t seen the dress code policy, how it’s been rewritten, so I can’t really speak to how it’s updated. But it used to be [that] females could not wear, I’m not going to quote it, but it [was] kind of spaghetti straps, and they couldn’t be too revealing. I think they couldn’t have their abdomens showing…The board of ed is updating our policies as we speak and it’s an astronomical task.

[Participant 2] Interestingly, we, during this year, had the university, one of the classes that came over was looking at the school through a critical race theory. And so they looked at all of our policies, the dress code, discipline, the fact that we have an SRO and one of the big things where gender did show up, but then also kind of culturally for racial purposes was in the dress code. So this year when we were going through, I mean, we really were, take gender out of it and take race out of it. Like make sure there’s nothing in that dress code policy that is going to say, oh, because these are Black kids, or this is a Black boy or girls cannot wear this, but because boys never would. So we did a hard look at that…

[Participant 5] We do also have student dress codes. I’m pretty sure there’s probably some distinctions based on male, female attire… I have never gotten a complaint about someone’s dress or attire where I would be able to see where these policies conflict^[3],but I could anticipate some particular areas, but I haven’t actually seen them because they haven’t been reported to me directly.

Two of the interviewees discussed sex segregated health classes for the sex education topics:

In response to being asked about sex segregated health classes:

[Participant 2] so fifth through eighth grade when they do the sex ed piece, I think, and I think they’re doing it because, well, the girls aren’t going to talk or the boys aren’t going to talk if there’s the other sex in the room, even though I’m a huge proponent they better know what’s happening with the other person’s body as well.

[Participant 4] The sex ed classes, the family life classes, so they’re not even divided up anymore between boys and girls, except for in the youngest one where they go over genitalia and everything, because they feel like the people… The kids will listen closer if they aren’t giggling at each other. So they still, as far as talking about your menstrual cycle and the different parts of the body, in fifth grade they do that separately so that… I think they think the kids will feel more comfortable and be able to [process].

One of the interviewees referenced Title IX policies and sex segregation in sports and PE classes before going on to share:

[Participant 1] Thank God for Billie Jean King…So Title IX, there cannot be differences for males and females in just about anything… males and females, whether they were born that way or identify as, have to be given equal opportunity in everything in school. So if there is, let’s just say, a volleyball team at the school, and it’s not identified as the girls’ volleyball team, but there is not a boys’ volleyball team, people who identify as male have to be allowed to be on that volleyball team because there isn’t an equal opportunity for their gender identity sport. And even in classes. Oh, it’s not in writing though in policy. There are some schools that still have gender-separated PE classes and it’s not supposed to be happening. It can happen if the classes are identical, identically aligned. If the boys’ class is doing football and baseball, which they can’t, but doing typical male-rough sports and the female classes are not doing the same units, it’s breaking the law.

Two interviewees discussed the effort being made to make policies more gender-neutral and explicit around discrimination based on gender identity:

[Participant 4] Really gender shows up a lot more in not so much academic policy or behavioral policy… We’re making those more gender-neutral, but where it shows up in policy a lot is with trying to stop some of the behaviors that are normal. So you see it more harassment, what people think are normal, harassment and discrimination.

[Participant 5] One, gender or protected individuals are protected based on gender identity and physical appearance. So we have policies that reflect state law, which protect individuals if they’re being discriminated against based on their gender identity, physical appearance and just gender in general. I think that’s one place where it shows up…We’ve definitely done a major overhaul on our policies. I think that they are not perfect, but I definitely think that they are as neutral as possible when it comes to the treatment of individuals based on their gender. I don’t see any major red flags in our policy in that area.

One interviewee referred to issues with restroom policies:

[Participant 4] Of course the restroom policies, how that has become a huge, huge issue within the school system. I think all school systems and everybody feels…[or] has an opinion about who should be going to what bathroom. So I think that that’s where we really see the gender show up…there’s more controversial policies of restrooms.

^[3] This reference to conflicting policies was made in response to the interviewer’s question about the discrepancy between the Title IX policy and the dress code policy.

Gender Expectations in School System/Campus

All the interviewees talked about how there are still ways that traditional gender expectations are still present in their school, school system, or on their campus but there are also ways those expectations are being dismantled or challenged:

[Participant 1] I think there are some people who think boys are better at math than girls. Yeah, I think some people still do have expectations based on gender. But again, that wall is being broken down, I think, from society in general, from social media. It’s nice. And then also, from our Title IX committee…has made a lot of progress in that as well for us and the kids and the staff…There was a mandatory training for all staff on this at the beginning of the year…yeah, I think there are expectations based on gender in our schools still.

[Participant 2] Girls have long hair, boys have short hair. Girls can wear skirts, boys play sports, girls cook. We’ve started to open up about that and make it cause a little bit of confusion, it’s definitely still ingrained in people. So when you’re challenging that as a student or as a person, it makes some people uncomfortable. And then I think speaking specifically of our school, I think you then bring in the cultural piece and religious piece that makes it even more messy and challenging of set behaviors and beliefs that either cause harm to the person who is challenging the societal beliefs of gender…I mean I would argue it causes harm… at our school, most teachers are females, which we have been taught, that’s a woman’s job. Where I am impressed, our admin are females, which would go against typical gender role… So I think in terms of what society has taught youth to be, some of our students definitely fall into that. Some of the teachers fall into that, and then they model and continue to perpetuate [that] the teachers are female or women are more caring. Boys shouldn’t cry. Those kind of things keep somewhat being perpetuated in our school. Although we’re trying to challenge that.

[Participant 3] Our [school] still tends to be pretty traditional in that regard. The administration is increasingly more conservative. I feel like there’s less support overall [at school] right now than there was maybe a handful of years ago for students that are living outside of the norm per se, or living what you know, could very well potentially become the new norm. The vast majority of the student body still primarily adheres to the more traditional expectations of the masculinity and femininity, whether they’re doing so just [at school], cause they don’t necessarily feel comfortable otherwise, or that’s just, you know, that the students that we’re attracting to our [school]. You do see some diversion per se, where you have a few males that aren’t as masculine, some, you know, every so often, that are overtly feminine, more so, you know, you do see females, I would say on a regular basis that are more overtly masculine. What I do know about our [school] community is that the males who have taken a stand and express their femininity have had some difficult encounters and haven’t always been supported by our administration in that regard… And you know, often times what you find is that you have instructors that clearly take a stance and are more all encompassing and very much are supportive and they’re known to be those [teachers at school], where then you have others that aren’t as comfortable with differences, you know, maybe their personal beliefs get in the way, but there doesn’t seem to be much effort by the administration to reduce those sorts of instances, there to help train us to be more sensitive.

[Participant 4] I mean, the school system is just a mirror of the community. And so we live in a pretty conservative community. So I think that a lot of times that what we speak of gender within the school system is definitely boy/girl. And lots of very strong opinions about that… But as far as the way we approach other things, I think that we, from the school system standpoint, we try not to see gender, but when we ignore gender, it sure does cause a lot of problems with the parents… They don’t like to ignore gender, where we’re just kind of like, we’re going to treat everybody the same and everybody gets every opportunity, and those sorts of things. Parents… The community doesn’t see it that way. So we run into a lot of obstacles when it comes to gender… I would say that a lot of the classes are still very gender-specific. So it’s trying… It’s changing some, but the parents like those gender-specific classes, like, “My boys are going to take drafting and my girl’s going to take chorus this or that.”

[Participant 5] I think that generally I would just categorize them as older population, and generally I think that they would have expectation that students would stick to traditional gender roles and norms… I think for sure when it comes to individuals that are in the athletic community, there’re probably some ideas and ideals that they think should be followed. I think employees that have been here for a long time because they’re older population, I think they have an idea of how it should look more traditional, but I think younger students and younger employees understand that gender can be fluid or not so rigid.

Gender Stereotypes that Arise in Regard to School Personnel

Due to changing social norms regarding stereotypes of school personnel or because of the staff makeup, four out of the five interviewees^[4] agreed that gender stereotypes between school staff don’t surface as frequently as they once did, but they also mentioned some stereotypes they still encounter today. Traditional gender roles have influenced and are still present in society’s perceptions of teachers, according to three interviewees:

[Participant 1] I don’t think they do. Even some of those… Only males teach social studies and the social studies…teacher is always the football coach. That doesn’t hold water or that males were the smart math teachers. I haven’t seen it reflected in our schools in a long time.

[Participant 2] It’s hard because there’s way more females in that building. So I mean our admin are females… I think we have two male teachers and then a TA. And I can’t say that there is any. Yeah. I mean, I really don’t… so I think that if anything, we challenge what would be a typical female teacher in the mindset of everybody’s going to be the caretaker of the students…

[Participant 4] Gender stereotypes. Well, there’s definitely a coaching stereotype. I think that there’s definitely that male teacher, high school coach type of stereotype. And I feel bad for them sometimes because they get the stereotype of being a coach, “I’m probably not that smart, and that’s why I was a teacher, but I’m really good for kids, and everybody’s… And I think that then, of course, the female PE teachers are always lesbians of course… That’s what everybody says. So there’s definitely that type of gender stereotype I see. But I think other than that, I think that things have… You have a lot more female administrators now… It used to be the math teachers were all male and the English teachers were all female. I mean, it’s just, it’s not like that anymore. There’s just such a mix of people. But those PE gender stereotypes, I definitely still see.

^[4] This reference to conflicting policies was made in response to the interviewer’s question about the discrepancy between the Title IX policy and the dress code policy.

Gender Stereotypes that Arise Between School Personnel and Students

All five interviewees were able to identify ways that gender stereotypes arise between school personnel and students but there was very little overlap in the ways they described the stereotypes they are seeing. Two of the interviewees did mention the difference in more “old-school” staff versus more progressive staff. One interviewee mentioned male teachers feeling the need to be careful around female students due to possible accusations:

[Participant 1] I’ve had conversations with male teachers who are very careful to not ever be alone with a female student because of possible accusations… A decade ago, or I feel like a decade seems to be where the turning point was. I don’t know what the magic date, if there ever was one, or any kind of policy. But I think a little more than a decade ago, if a male had to have a conference with a student about her work, a female student about her work in class, he would not think twice about having her sit next to his desk and they talk maybe even with the door closed. Now? Never. And men, male teachers are very afraid to even make contact with a student, even just a pat on the shoulder. A lot of men are afraid of being accused of something that certainly wasn’t their intention, which could be a good thing and a bad thing… I don’t think female teachers are as afraid of being, I wouldn’t be still to this day, I wouldn’t be, and have, be afraid to have a one-on-one conference with a male and/or a female student in my classroom with the door closed. Maybe I should be more afraid of that.

[Participant 3] It depends on…the staff member. You know, some of the [staff] are more old school in their mentality and they don’t have any qualms with basically expressing that where you have others that are more progressive in their mentality, and you can definitely see the difference in their way that they’re interacting with students. I could go into detailed stories about some [staff] that are acting in ways that they absolutely shouldn’t be just because of those like old school norms that they’ve been able to hold on to.

[Participant 5] I think that generally I would just categorize [staff] as older population, and generally I think that they would have expectation that students would stick to traditional gender roles and norms…I think employees that have been here for a long time because they’re older population, I think they have an idea of how it should look more traditional, but I think younger students and younger employees understand that gender can be fluid or not so rigid.

Another participant noted how they could think of one specific teacher at their school who treats students differently based on gender:

[Participant 2] The one that I observed a ton was that second grade teacher who I think goes into the assumption of, I need to be hard on boys because they’re going to act out and I need to empower girls because this world is so horrible to girls, But everybody else, I mean, I feel like they’re not treating anybody differently because of gender.

Two interviewees mentioned how gender stereotypes between staff and students are present in school athletics. Their remarks demonstrate how gender biases held by staff members both benefit and harm students.

One of those interviewees spoke to how school staff treat students differently based on personality traits related to gender stereotypes:

[Participant 4] I think that for boys that are athletes and very much boy-boys, I think high school’s easier for them. I think the teachers really kind of respect those kids a lot. And I definitely think that the girls that are sometimes a little needy, but… I don’t want to say needy. Smart but cute, I think that there’s probably some preference. I think there’s definitely a preference in the way certain personalities are treated in high school.

The other interviewee remarked about how using particular school facilities, particularly locker rooms and restrooms, can lead to gender preconceptions. Staff employees openly admit that they are reluctant to give students access to appropriate facilities:

[Participant 5] I’ve had individuals just today actually where employees have ideas of what students should be doing or shouldn’t be doing when it comes to their gender identity or gender role and staff and faculty don’t agree. I think there can be conflict between the student and the employee when it comes to expectations of a student’s gender and gender stereotypes based on the faculty or employee. I think it is really gender identity. If anything, I think those gender identity and restroom locker rooms are areas where they could come into play. I haven’t seen one specific incident. I’ve heard complaints or just opinions from faculty or employees about things like locker rooms or restrooms that would make me believe that some individuals have stereotypes that they think should be applied to students in the area of restroom and locker room.

Gender Stereotypes that Arise Between Students

Similar to gender stereotypes that arise between school personnel and students, all five interviewees were able to identify ways that gender stereotypes arise among students, but the ways they see these stereotypes arise look different.

One interviewee made a very important point about the intersectionality between gender stereotypes and white dominant culture. At their school, which has a predominately Black student body, Black students may appear to be defying gender stereotypes, but in actuality, they are simply conforming to gender stereotypes that apply to their cultural group:

[Participant 2] Yeah. I mean, I think that they call each other out on if you are challenging a gender norm, but it’s tricky…It’s all very blurry because I would argue there’s a bunch of cultural stuff that changes…like in their culture, Black women are stronger. So whose gender narrative are we talking about? Because I think in that sense, no, we have really strong females and I think that, yes, that goes along with their gender. So I’m not, I don’t think they’re challenging the gender of their culture. I think they may be challenging the gender of white culture, but not of theirs. So…there’s so much intersectionality into this that it gets messy.

Another participant noticed it in relation to gender stereotypes around athletic ability:

[Participant 1] I’m doing flag football at a school. And it’s co-ed. It’s males and females on teams together. And I’ve heard boys say, “You throw like a girl,” believe it or not, still. And I just, “Ha.” And I hear boys ridicule girls for not being athletic enough to be a part of their team…

One interviewee mentioned how, for the most part, students no longer pressure one another to conform to gender stereotypes as they once did in the past:

[Participant 3] Maybe not as much as I used to per se, they, they’re pretty even keel with one another, for the most part. I even think like the one semester I had a male that, you know, made a point to every single day that he came to class, he was dressed beautifully in regards to a feminine way, and he would so proudly walk into the classroom. He had identified as a male, but he chose to dress, you know, more feminine and the students never said anything to him. They never, in my opinion, made him feel uncomfortable. I clearly was very in tune to the situation. So I was a little bit on guard and watching the situation maybe more than I would just the average students sitting there. And if you were to speak to him, I think, you know, for the most part, he had really great experiences. Now he did have one awful experience, unfortunately, that, you know, had to go to the higher ups and he wasn’t supported, like he should have been. And that, you know, just says to me that overall, we’re not quite there yet. Whether you’re looking at student to student or the way in which the [school] responds to any sort of non-binary incidences that do occur on campus or just the overall climate of being more accepting, we’re just not quite there yet. Even if the students are doing a better job than I saw earlier in my career.

Another interviewee spoke to how gender stereotypes show up in school cliques:

[Participant 4] The cliques are the cliques based on what type you are in your gender. So if you’re the pretty, sweet cheerleader or the Gothy messed up… They just have the different stereotypes within those genders that kind of have followed us through generations of high school.

One interviewee mentioned how gender stereotypes come into play through bullying and harassment:

[Participant 5] That’s probably the most frequent in that students will ask questions or pick, bully, harass other students that might not conform to a person’s subjective beliefs about gender roles and identities.

Treatment of Students who Identify Outside the Gender Binary

Across the Wilmington community, personnel working in schools and campuses observe students who identify outside of the gender binary being treated similarly in terms of how their peers and teachers treat them, with some distinct differences by educational setting. The interviewees spoke to how in recent years, student peers tend to be more open and accepting of students who identify outside of the gender binary:

[Participant 1] Our student population are… The kids feel more open to be who they really feel like they are and are advocating for themselves, even oftentimes, to be accepted for who they’re identifying as, even if their birth gender was male, but they now identify as female…Our student population are getting more open and accepting of gender differences.

[Participant 5] It depends on the word accepted. I would say generally they are pretty well accepted. I think children all might have questions, but overall I think that they’re pretty well accepted. I think so. Just the children themselves, I think they’re pretty open and accepting.

The interviewees shared that from their view, teachers’ treatment of students who identify outside of the gender binary varies, but their behavior often reflects the requirements of school policy and the administration’s position. In some cases, that means that teachers simply respond as they are told they are supposed to without actually agreeing with the idea of being supportive to those students:

[Participant 2] I think some might bite their tongue and just grin and bear it, but I think there’s been enough work done…I think that as we’re pushing the restorative and building social and emotional, that you have to model it as much as you’re trying to teach it, that you cannot be teaching that all are okay, and then say that this person is horrible. So yes, I think that they would probably just bite their tongue and be mad outside of the building. But I do think that they would be respectful towards that student in the building.

[Participant 3] And you know, often times what you find is that you have instructors that clearly take a stance and are more all-encompassing and very much are supportive and they’re known to be those instructors on campus, where then you have others that aren’t as comfortable with differences, you know, maybe their personal beliefs get in the way…

In response to a question about staff supportiveness:

[Participant 3] For the most part. And, you know, and that’s hard to say, cause you don’t know, like, do they find out from other peers which faculty and staff are more friendly and supportive and in this sort of like navigate in that direction or, you know, is it just that overall faculty and staff are doing a good job? You know, it would, I would be interested or it’d be interesting to actually survey or interview those students to see exactly how that’s panning out.

[Participant 4] And I think teachers are much better at dealing with it, though we still have those pockets. So again, it’s very individualized and as much policy as you can put in place, you cannot change someone’s feelings about gender… I mean, you might have this one teacher that just doesn’t believe in that, and has a hard time not showing that in class. So I think that’s really hard to change. You really can’t change someone’s mind or attitude, and finding ways to control that and taking those really seriously, but also the rights of the teacher and their job. And so combining that with how do we approach that from a personnel side is really sometimes hard… But kids can tell when your heart has changed and when it has not. So as much as we can make people follow policy and those sorts of things, there’s a lot to be said for knowing someone’s following policy and thinking somebody likes you.

The descriptions and opinions of school policies around treatment of students who identify outside of the gender binary that the interviewees shared reflected the progress that has been made in recent years as well as the gaps and room for growth:

[Participant 1] Yeah, because if somebody identifies as a gender, the body that they weren’t born in or labeled at birth, they don’t feel comfortable going into a locker room before PE to get dressed. They also don’t feel comfortable when accommodations are made in the schools. “Well, okay. That’s cool. If you’re identifying as a female, but you still have male genitalia and you don’t feel comfortable, you can use the nurse’s bathroom.” And those kids don’t even like that accommodation because… They can still be outed inadvertently by, “Why does that kid always go to the nurse’s bathroom to change?” And so I think we’re a little bit behind in our schools’ accommodations for kids… We need to have gender-neutral bathrooms, but our society isn’t getting there yet. [In response to a related question] Just four years ago, a kid could not have their [gender] legally changed in PowerSchool, in our New `Hanover County schools in the state, unless their birth certificate… They could add a preferred name, which we just had that changed a few years ago. It used to be birth name was the name that was listed in PowerSchool. And so we finally, we advocated and were able to have a student-preferred name. So that would be printed out for substitute teachers or classroom teachers who are meeting these kids for the first time, so they don’t inadvertently out a kid who doesn’t care to be. …Just five years ago, we didn’t have LGBTQ support groups in the middle schools, and now all of them have it. So we’re making progress to support kids’ mental health in that respect who need it as well.

[Participant 3] …Overall, we take like online trainings once a year, but I wouldn’t say that those online trainings are creating any sort of cultural shift. We need to basically just click through the screens and receive your certificate and check off the box without really any change whatsoever. [In response to a similar question] To a degree, you know, there, there’s one bathroom that I can think of. It’s a single stall bathroom, it’s tucked away on the fourth floor of…a building that a lot of the classes are in, but it’s not really well advertised per se. So it’s there, but not necessarily like, you know, highlighted, that’s kind of like the whole climate, like we’re, we understand this, we understand that non-binary is certainly not just an option, but becoming, and is a way of life, not just for individuals, but our society, we just haven’t fully adjusted to it at this point… So they’ve checked off the boxes per se. Right? But not necessarily in a way that is well advertised or very transparent.

[Participant 4] So the gender I think has really kind of hit hard in the last five years to school systems, because there’s so much talk of non-binary, which they’re never… We didn’t have a lot of that, and didn’t really talk about… We talked about supporting those kids, but there’s a lot of court cases coming down and so we’re changing policy…

[Participant 5] Also, I think there is a lack of training. I think this there’s a lack of training, but I think there’s also a lack of clear understanding in the law up until the last two years, even more recently the last year or six months.

Even within the same system, interviewees described how school environments can differ greatly in how they treat students who identify outside of the gender binary, partly due to the administration at those specific schools within that system:

[Participant 1] That runs the gamut. Wide, wide ranging… [One school] is, I feel like, such an accepting, accommodating you be you, do you environment safe for kids. I know that [another] school that I’m at is not as accommodating because I know kids who are non-binary, but afraid to let others in the building know, including admin, because they don’t feel like they’d be accepted. [The first school] is such a happy place for kids. We have a very high percentage of kids who are…trans at that school, 1000% accepted by staff and students. We have some progress to make at other schools, but that has to come from the ultimate top down. And if you have a superintendent who is not on that bandwagon, they’re not going to promote it and advocate for these kids’ mental health even, just that progress will be slow. But our Title IX committee is banging on that glass floor so hopefully, change will continue to be made.

[Participant 3] …but there doesn’t seem to be much effort by the administration to reduce those sorts of instances, there to help train us to be more sensitive…some of the administration is supportive, but some aren’t… So, and there doesn’t seem to be, as of yet any real strategic effort to ensure that everybody on campus is supportive of anyone that chooses not to, or maybe it’s like not even choose probably isn’t even the word, but anyone that lives outside the binary, I don’t see an overall shift yet to where that’s like the general norm on campus, if that’s perfectly acceptable and regardless you are supported and here are your resources and here is where you go to and when you go there, you know you’re gonna have all the support you could want or need, we’re just not quite there yet in my humble opinion.

[Participant 5] I think it depends on the school. I’m not aware that I think that initial response will definitely skew to what the individual administrator that’s in charge of each school believes and feels personally. Sometimes that’s more welcoming. Sometimes that’s more traditional. But once [Title IX becomes] involved and aware, then they’re being told what to do. The response is in a way that makes the student most comfortable in whatever way that is…the principal, that’s really the person that has the most impact on that initial response based on if they have more traditional views or more forward thinking views… [In response to a similar question] …I think the further away the employee is from an administrative role, I think there’s more support, but there’s so many individuals in this district, it’s hard to say… I think one of the administrator’s role historically within K12 schools has been judge jury executioner. They are the end all be all to their individual campus, whether it’s student conduct policies, employee disputes. Because of that, they are used to responding in a way that they subjectively believe is correct. So that’s one reason why the response is what it is, but the subjective feeling could change depending on who the person is… There’s a lot of don’t ask, don’t tell in these situations along with just the traditional role of the administrator over the years in K–12 school.

Behavior/Impacts Related to Gender Stereotypes

One interviewee talked about improvements in how staff members interact based on gender stereotypes and how recent equity-focused efforts play a role in that:

[Participant 3] I think for the most part we’re improving in that regard. I mean…some sexual harassment occurs. I don’t see it as overtly as I used to in the beginning of my career so I think that there’s a conscientious effort to reduce that. I think people overall are more aware of what sexual harassment is and the repercussions of sexual harassment. So it’s like we’re doing a better job governing ourselves. You know there is some speculation that there’s pay inequities based on gender, but that has yet to fully been brought to light or even proven. In terms of promotions, there doesn’t really seem to be an issue…it seems to be relatively stable across the board, at least from what I see. As well as, you know, hiring. I was just asking a colleague the other day, like, how many males have been hired into our department since we’ve been hired. And it hasn’t been that many, but in the same sense of things, also the nature of like the social science discipline…You know, it’s even like you look around the custodial staff and the maintenance staff there tends to be pretty, you know, much like equal representation, male, female wise. So in that regard, I think we’re doing a fine job. I think the one improvement we absolutely could make would be to take any issues that are brought to HR more seriously and address them accordingly.

Connection between Gender, Aggression, and Interpersonal Violence

There were mixed views among interviewees as to the connections between gender and aggression. Some participants felt there was no correlation while others acknowledged that we have beliefs about the relationship between gender and aggression stemming from societal norms that influence our implicit bias. Interviewees only mentioned binary genders and focused mostly on biological connections related to testosterone rather than socialization:

[Participant 1] There’s the belief that people who have testosterone in their systems have a higher level of possible aggression or managing that testosterone released aggressive tendencies. I’m not saying everybody with testosterone is aggressive, but there’s a belief… I mean, guys in gyms who…[use] steroids, they oftentimes are reported as being more aggressive or have violent outbursts or violent tendencies because of the doping. But I guess males, I guess people who have testosterone in general tend to have a little bit more aggressive behaviors. That was really wrong to say. That felt so bad for me to say that.

[Participant 2] I don’t think there is one. I think aggression comes from how you’re feeling, your life circumstance. I’ve seen as much aggression from both boys and girls. So I don’t think there is a connection.

[Participant 3] I would say that we are still continuing to socialize males in terms of masculinity and traditionally, and still contemporarily, masculinity entails a display of aggression in ways that can potentially be harmful to both the individual and the other people in their lives. I think the opposite is true with femininity and the way that we socialize femininity, we sort of socialize away from aggressive behavior, the suppression of any sort of aggressive behavior, which again, can be harmful to the individual and the people in their lives. So either way, male or female masculinity or femininity as far as aggression, we have a lot of work to do as a society and probably as individuals too… my daughter comes home from preschool with, you know, lessons that she’s taught that, you know, I think are relatively progressive in terms of like, this is how we all act. It doesn’t matter, you know, who you are, what you are, these are the expectations for every single one of us. I do think things are changing. It’ll be interesting, like in the end of my career will I be able to see a noticeable difference in the students like her generation?

[Participant 5] I think my implicit bias would say if you identify as a male, you’re probably more aggressive. I don’t have any factual basis in that, but that’s just my own implicit bias. I think my correct answer would be there isn’t or I don’t know.

The interviewees largely agreed that, from what they have seen or what has been disclosed to them, it is most often women who are the victims of intimate partner violence or dating violence and men who are the abusers. A few of the participants did acknowledge that much of this is due to societal norms around gender which also influence the lack of disclosures by male victims. One interviewee also acknowledged how their own experience had influenced their view:

[Participant 2] I think boys will be more aggressive when it comes to an intimate partner because of, again, this construct of what we say they’re supposed to be. And if they’re not that, then they’re either told that they’re a [gay slur] or they get so emasculated that they have to then show that, “No, I am not this weak…” Gay or not, they’re going to prove… So no, having read the book, Bully Society, I think we as a society create this because we have these expectations of who boys are supposed to be and then [beat the] crap out of them if they don’t fit whatever that is.

[Participant 3] I hear more about females being physically abused by male partners than I do male students in my, coming to me about being physically abused by a partner, whether they’re male or female, or is it just the males aren’t as likely to speak up about it? Which I think is clearly going to be the case sometimes, but with the issues that I’m made aware of and the issues that I can kind of see that are happening, even if nobody’s saying anything or what you witnessed occurring on campus, just like body language, it does tend to be rather traditional with the male being more aggressive towards the female. And any sort of, of female aggression is probably kept under their radar more when it does occur. And you know, very well probably isn’t occurring as frequently. Cause again, we’re socialized to act out differently, ways that are just as harmful, but you know, just different… Like I, you know, in all of my years, I’ve been almost doing this for 15 years, I can’t think of a time where I had a female come to me about her female partner being abusive. And it’s been very, very, very few and far between or any males ever even suggested that he’s being abused by either a male or female partner, but countless occasions where females have disclosed that they’ve been abused by male partners.

[Participant 4] Well, for me, I think that I have a personal experience with partner violence from when I was young. So that skews my thinking towards that it’s always the boy. I always go straight to defending a girl. Always.

Difference in Behavioral Issues/Conduct Violations based on Gender

There were mixed views among interviewees as to whether there was a difference in behavioral issues and/or conduct violations based on the gender of students. Two school personnel felt there was no difference or felt conflicted as to whether or not there was a difference:

[Participant 1] I really never did because I was a strong… I grew up as a strong girl, physically and emotionally. And so I never thought girls were less than, people who identify as female or born female are less than. So I really don’t. I can honestly say that I don’t have different expectations. I mean, I guess maybe sometimes I might think that boys are a little rougher, lower grades, but then I… No, I don’t, Mm-mm (negative).

[Participant 2] Nope. I don’t. I think girls will throw down just as much as the boys.

On the other hand, four school personnel did notice differences by gender but their descriptions of those differences vary:

[Participant 1] I’m thinking about my own personal experience just recently this year. This school year, the most common ADD, ADHD disruptive behaviors most seem to be coming from males. Yeah, I mean, that’s the truth. It’s sad, but it is the truth from my experience that I think. Yeah, that’s all.

[Participant 3] I think males tend to be more disruptive in the classroom environment than the females, and I think most instructors would probably agree to that statement. But it’s, you know, like those old school behavioral issues that I think you start seeing the difference of in elementary school. Like not being able to sit still as long, you know, kind of like being a little bit “show offy” or showboaty, you know, with their peers. Where when the females act out, there’s some of that to a degree, but not very often, it’s more like, you know, chit chatting quietly with each other in the back. Or, you know, all of them, regardless of biological sex or gender, guilty of playing on their phones constantly. But it is fascinating when you ask that question to think like the way that it’s still kind of like, you know, kindergarten just progressing forward in the way that they’re acting out is just differently than males. It’s more overt. And then the females more covert.

[Participant 4] Yes. Again, the masculine thing, we definitely see more boys getting in trouble than girls. But I would say that the biggest issue there is seeking attention or power and control… So we see that in both genders, but I would definitely say that the attention-seeking behavior is more of a feminine behavior and the power control is more of a masculine behavior.

[Participant 5] I would say that males generally are the more frequent flyers when it comes to these type of Title IX incidents, but that’s the most I’ve seen.

Difference in Discipline/Sanctions Based on Gender

The interviewees had differing opinions on whether behavioral issues and conduct violations are disciplined or sanctioned differently based on gender. Some of this difference was due to the setting and the way their specific school handles discipline:

[Participant 1] I don’t know how they’re handled, but I know statistically, males are about 75%… And now, don’t quote me. That’s the last time I remember seeing the data. About 75% of our in-school and out-of-school suspensions were male. I don’t know if they’re handled differently, if there’s an infraction from male and an infraction from female that are identical. I like to believe that both are handled the same way, but a higher percentage of ISS and OSS, in-school suspensions and out-of-school, are male by about three to one^[5].

[Participant 2] I think we’ve tackled that really well. So, you know, our discipline we’ve done, we still are sticking with the restorative committee. And so, this year’s a tough one because there weren’t a ton of referrals. When there were, it was very warranted. And I’m trying to think of the few incidents that happened, where it became a physical altercation and they included both boys and girls and all were handed the same consequence, I guess, in terms of, because we had the liberty of this year to say, you can go back to plan C [remote learning]. So I think it wasn’t necessarily you were ever suspended. You just went plan C instead of being physically on campus…I’m not really sure where else gender would come into a policy because discipline is across the board. It doesn’t matter. It’s what you did, not who you are.

[Participant 3] I do know there’s been some incidences on campus where like a male, you know, will make a physical threat to another student or a faculty or staff member versus a female making a physical threat. And the male threats are taken more seriously, which has been off putting to the faculty and the staff like the females could potentially be just as dangerous. You’re making an assumption based on gender norms, thinking that he’s going to act out against us or follow through with the threat where she very well could. So there has certainly been some struggles around that. And us wanting everybody to be treated equally in that regard on the punishment should… Regardless of the biological sex or gender…

[Participant 4] I think that that’s another really hard one because it’s traditionally been that with girl problems, female problems, feminine problems, it’s more of a restorative justice kind of, “Let’s let the girls sit and talk and we’ll figure it out.” But when it comes to boys in that masculine role, it’s definitely more of a discipline approach as we’re going to suspend, we’re going to give a consequence. I think there’s a big difference between how we approach the different types of behaviors… I think it’s because nobody has ever expected boys to talk it out… And that really has not been a focus. And actually sometimes I think parents would prefer the suspension over us trying to talk to their boys about changing behavior sometimes. I see the pushback on that.

^[5] Since interviewees were asked to state their opinions, there is no expectation of factual or data based information in the interviews, therefore, we understand that the figure shared here may not be accurate.

Difference in School Achievement/Performance based on Gender

Interviewees mostly agreed that the expectations around gender and academic performance are not or are no longer what actually occur in class settings. One interviewee even spoke to how girls are now exceeding boys in academics:

[Participant 2] specifically in …seventh grade math and science? No. Like I think girls jumped out to answer questions as much or more than the boys.

[Participant 3] I honestly, I don’t see a whole lot of difference. Yeah, you read about how men are more likely to speak up in the public settings and women are less likely, and I can think back to when I started teaching that did tend to be the case, but you know, now that I’m 15, almost 15 years into the profession, I wouldn’t say that it is really the case anymore… in my classroom performance wise, as well as participation wise, it does tend to be relatively equal across the board. Now I can’t really speak for the other disciplines. When you go to the graduation ceremonies or where you notice the students who are on PTK, the honor society, it seems again to be, pretty even mix for sure.

[Participant 4] Interesting enough, girls are exceeding, as far as academics. If you’re going to talk about gender and general boy/girl gender difference. I would say that academics has become less male-focused and definitely more female-focused into who’s getting into college and what the accepted norms are as far as what… You know, I’m a teacher, so. But that was one thing that my parents didn’t want me to do, which is so crazy. But those traditionally female jobs are not traditionally female anymore. So I think that’s kind of backed its way down into school where we don’t really see academically that there’s any much of a difference.

“Boys Will Be Boys”

The phrase “Boys will be Boys” was used multiple times throughout the interviews. Sometimes this was related to prompting if a statement was made that alluded to the idea, while on other occasions interviewees brought it up on their own accord. This concept is interlaced with many of the other concepts around gender discussed in this report:

When prompted about how people may say boys fighting in the hallway is normal teenage boy behavior:

[Participant 1] “Boys will be boys.” My son was assaulted when he was five years old by a fifth-grader on the school bus. His arm was dislocated… And I talked to the father and the words out of his mouth were never, “I am so sorry.” His words were, “Boys are going to be boys. Boys will be boys.” And then I knew [it] wasn’t worth talking much further with the dad about it because those were his beliefs and I wasn’t willing to take the time to change it and I felt bad for the kid. Yeah. I mean, I felt bad for my son too, to tolerate that pain, but I felt bad for the fifth-grade boy who probably grew up to be an abusive partner.

[Participant 2] I think the same old mantra, “boys will be boys.” So they’re gonna rough house…I think that there’s a past, maybe from classroom teachers in terms of, I’m going to smack you in the back of the neck and if it’s between a boy and a boy, it gets a pass, versus, and maybe it might even get a pass if a girl is hitting a boy, but if the boy hits the girl, then they’re going to jump in and I got to go back to last year because there really wasn’t a lot of horse playing this year. I think that’s what is allowed to get the “boys are going to be boys”, is the horse playing, the name calling, teasing…

[Participant 4] I think that’s just been the norm in school for so long, that boys will fight and that boys will say disrespectful things to girls. And I hear a lot of it, because we’ve been dealing with the harassment and the Title IX. So I’ve heard a lot of “boys will be boys”, and I feel like that education wants to change that more than parents of boys do. And I’m a parent of a boy… But parents of boys, they don’t really… And I think they don’t see the harm in their boys saying things or doing things that are inappropriate. They don’t see the harm to the other person, so they’re okay with it. They just think that’s, “Well, what’s what boys said to me growing up, so of course my son’s going to say that.”

When discussing consequences of bullying:

[Participant 2] Part of the other problem, I feel like the teachers let it go on and go on… And this is where I think going all the way back to the… I don’t even think it’s “boys will be boys.” I think they just think that this is hormonal middle schoolers are just razzing each other and…it’s all in fun and games and it’s whatever, and they’re not stopping it and addressing what this all could be until it gets to the point where it totally blows up in their face. And then they do these office referrals, and we’re coming in to do cleanup and trying to sort through like, “Where did this all begin? And what is this really all about?”

Impacts of the COVID-19 Pandemic

Concerning the impacts of the COVID-19 pandemic, one interviewee described the twin pressures that administrators navigate: introducing relevant and time-sensitive training and policies while managing teacher burnout and retention. As a result, certain initiatives are continuously delayed or postponed:

[Participant 1] COVID has people so stressed out that they can’t think about one more thing. They can’t attend one more training on this new policy or that new policy. They’re just done. And I think senior staff are aware of that and they’re hanging onto every teacher that they have. They don’t want to push anybody else out. So I think they’re just holding onto a lot of these policies and procedures until the beginning of next year again.

Another respondent discussed how the present emphasis on COVID-19 policy and protocols has diminished the importance of other policies, such as Title IX. This overshadowing, they warn, is not sustainable and requires prioritization:

[Participant 4] I just wish they’d be a little more interested right now. And I know everybody’s really overwhelmed and Title IX is like a thing of the past in this county, because now we’re on the COVID, we’re past the Title IX, we’re on the COVID. But COVID is going to go away. Well let’s hope so. COVID is going to go away and we’re still going to be faced with the same problems we were faced with before that. So I want them to refocus on the things we were working on and not get overshadowed because in the long run that’s…where we need the education of everybody from staff, parents, students to avoid the mistakes we made that were so harmful to kids. …And realistically we’ve been working on this a lot longer than COVID has been around.

Related to the pandemic’s impact on social groups, one interviewee mentioned how the introduction of student cohort groups provided opportunities for students to build new relationships and strengthen existing relationships:

[Participant 2] So the kids who came Monday, Tuesday, if there was an oddball in that classroom, they bonded. Right? All of those kids, because there were only five of them. So they were this core unit. Then you had the Thursday, Friday kids, same thing.

The same interviewee described how social ties shifted and bullying behaviors resumed when student cohort groups joined for whole-class instruction. This created opportunities for school personnel to discuss bullying behaviors with students:

[Participant 2] But now that you’re all back together, the dynamics changed and you could see how the kids in the AA day who rejected the little odd kid now could join the BB kids and gang up and make him feel bad about himself. So that was the weird dynamic of this year… The reason we had that [combined grade level] group was because we were saying, “You guys are essentially sexually bullying because you’re touching somebody without their consent and you know nothing about the personal life of the boy that you are smacking and what that is doing to them.” So yeah, we went through a whole like, “Is it sexual assault? Is it sexual bullying? What does that look like?” And again, getting them to recognize what is that difference of your intention behind what you are doing. You cannot do anything without having a conversation with a person, especially if it’s going to involve touching them or spreading a rumor about them.

When discussing sexual harassment between students, one interviewee mentioned there has been an increase in students reporting unwanted verbal communication and requests for sexual photos since the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic:

[Participant 5] …unwelcome and persistent asking of sexually provocative photos of other students occurs frequently, particularly during COVID. I think it’s more verbal than anything and the repeated asking for sexual photos.

One interviewee attributed the rise in behaviors to the pandemic that has negatively impacted student socio-emotional development:

[Participant 1] And I think it has a lot to do with kids relearning how to be social since they were isolated for two and a half years. They haven’t had a normal school year in years.

Incidents of Interpersonal Violence, Sexual Harassment, & Dating Violence

Documentation of Incidents

The interviewees reported having systems for documenting interpersonal violence, sexual harassment, and dating violence incidents. Four out of the five interviewees referenced a school-wide protocol that includes a documentation system for tracking the incident from the moment it is reported, and throughout the investigation and outcome determination process:

[Participant 2] …the teachers will put the office referral in [incident documentation system] and then we track, what was the offense, what did the teachers say it was, what was the student’s, their side of it. What was determined per the student, within that meeting, what was determined to be what they needed to do to repair the harm and then follow up with how did it go. …so if a student leaves the classroom for whatever reason we track why. So was it due to the teacher, was it due to a peer, was it due to the classwork. So what was the thing that frustrated them, that had them asked to [take a ten-minute break] and then what did they do in the [assigned break room] that helped them to get back to the class. So we track all of that.

[Participant 3] Email the counseling office or if it’s an incident so big either CC’ing or emailing the Dean of student services directly, and that way it’s all documented there on email and date stamped. …There is a Title IX, a form that we can fill out. …it has a little link on the website, but it’s relatively hidden. …It’d be interesting to know how often it’s been used.

[Participant 4] So for regular behaviors in the school system, we… We just document it in [learning management system]…But if a harassment, discrimination and bullying, it has to be entered into [incident documentation system]. Even if the child didn’t report it that way, if they report to a counselor, they put it into [incident documentation system] and that is how we document. So anybody who worked on that bullying, harassment, discrimination case can put their notes in there. Everybody can see it, everybody’s a case manager. …And then we do a summary. We can upload documents to it. …we can see [if] that child’s had that same behavior before.

[Participant 5] I keep case spreadsheets of the instances that match our [incident documentation system] case file numbers. I document the type of conduct and the outcome as well. Whether it’s a verbal warning or suspension is documented on paper and [incident documentation system]. …So for Title IX matters, it is housed here in my office, though there are discussions about making sure that everyone has the pertinent information. So I guess maybe it is put in [incident documentation system], but I don’t put it in [incident documentation system]. It would be up to the school administrator to put in there for their record purposes.

One interviewee mentioned that a student designed a reporting form with support from a staff member who supported their student group. It was mostly a student-led project that took two years to become student-facing on the school’s website. It was mentioned, however, that the form is relatively hidden and not common knowledge amongst students unless it is brought to their attention:

[Participant 3] There is a Title IX, a form that we can fill out. It’s something that when I was doing [a student group], one of my students that I worked closely with, he devised the form and he, I think it took him like two years to finally get the administration to post it on, you know, the website so that any student can access it. And it has a little link on the website, but it’s relatively hidden. I would guess that most students don’t even know that it exists. And the administration was quite reluctant, but, he fought long and he fought hard and he was unrelenting, and he was finally able to get that form. It’d be interesting to know how often it’s been used. Yeah, I tell my students about it, but I don’t even know like if I can tell them a lot of things…

Another interviewee developed their own tracking system due to a lack of clarity on teachers’ reporting requirements beyond physical infractions.

[Participant 1] That hasn’t come down that we need to document or log certain things that needs to be reported. I keep notes of incidents that I see or behaviors of any kind that I see happening in my classroom, in my plan book, digital plan book. But I don’t think… I’m embarrassed to say this. I don’t think [the school district] requires individual teachers across the school district keep a record of incidents of minor infractions, like a kid slap, or not slapping somebody on the butt, that would be reported, but like a kid [making a sexualized statement] in high school [is not recorded].

Incident Reporting Systems

All interviewees mentioned that incidents of interpersonal violence, sexual harassment, or dating violence are reported verbally, in writing, or through an anonymous platform. Incidents can also be reported by bystanders or reported based on information shared by students.

Three interviewees shared how students or staff can formally report concerns and complaints:

[Participant 1] We have an app, and it’s on our webpage, that if anybody wants to report these kinds of things anonymously, they can, and the kids are all very aware of it. In the schools, there’s posters all over the schools, at all the schools.

[Participant 4] The [incident documentation system] and Say Something are our anonymous reporting systems for the school system. So anytime a child has a concern or complaint, it can come through there.

[Participant 5] [Incident reports] can come through a variety of ways. It can come through a verbal or written report such as a student telling a teacher. It can come from our [incident documentation system] reporting platform. It could come from any type of evidence where we should have known. For example, if there’s some writing in the school hallway that says student A is abusing student B and no one said anything, but employees saw that writing, then that would still give us notice. Notice can come from anywhere. Any employee can trigger that notice requirement. With the online platforms, it’s pretty broad.

One participant noted an increase in grievance reporting since implementing reporting systems. Through the reporting system, students are bringing awareness to behaviors that may have previously gone unnoticed but are prevalent:

[Participant 4]…I think that we’ve seen a lot more people, a lot more kids, especially at the middle and high school level reporting when they feel harassed or bullied. Even just the bothersome behaviors, like, “Hey, there’s this guy that calls me and he’s following me around school. He’s always trying to kiss me.” I mean, some of those things that I didn’t really think about…and now that I’m in this role and I can see…[how] pervasive it is throughout the schools.

The same participant suggested that students prefer the anonymous reporting system due to inconsistent responses from teachers and/or lack of follow-up. By documenting the incident in writing, it guarantees a response from school personnel:

[Participant 4] It makes me wonder if they’ve increased or we just have to take them more seriously because it’s in writing and going somewhere. So instead of going to a teacher and being like “This kid is bothering me,” and the teacher’s like, “Oh, that’s just because he likes you,” and that sort of thing.

Reporting systems have afforded school personnel insights on climate and social trends and naturally prompt discussions about actions needed to address the issues brought to their attention:

[Participant 1] I mean, some of the worst days in [school district’s] history have resulted in a lot of good. A lot of enlightenment, come-to-Jesus meetings. “This is really happening. We can’t ignore it and we have to do something about it.”

[Participant 4] Now we’re getting those and it’s in writing and we’re looking at them, and looking at them more systematically. I think that that has helped a lot to take it from just these isolated incidents that maybe were being reported to all different people. …being able to see them all together makes a bigger impact.

Protocol for Responding to Student Disclosures

The protocols to be followed when a student reveals interpersonal violence, sexual harassment, or dating violence were further discussed by the participants. These processes are both internal and external (they may refer students to outside resources). Participants also discussed how they handle current or isolated incidents versus recurring or past disclosures.

Four interviewees spoke to the importance of first validating the experience of the person reporting and prioritizing immediate safety and comfort:

[Participant 1] …first, I thank them for sharing this with me, and then…I tell them that I believe them. And I also have to tell them in that conversation that what you’ve disclosed to me, if I think they’re going to reveal something, that I just want to let you know that I’m most concerned about your personal safety, and that anything that you reveal that makes me think you are in danger, I will report it. I’m a mandatory reporter. But, “I believe you. Thank you for telling me.” And then it’s been reported. The next step is… My next step is… Because we don’t always have a deputy on campus. My next step is to go to the administration and then we make the call.

[Participant 2] [I] don’t pin everything on the victim and make them be the one to have to leave the classroom and them have to be the one to be in the safe place.

[Participant 4] The first thing is just working to make sure that those… That everybody feels safe. So working with the victim to make sure they feel safe at school. So looking at what we can do to immediately adjust the situation at school. So if the perpetrator is at school, looking at what we can do to help mitigate them seeing each other.

[Participant 5] That would be considered a title IX matter, domestic violence, stalking and relationship violence. All those pieces are considered sexual harassment under our policies. If those things were to take place, first thing we would do is reach out to the complainant to offer them supportive services, things that we can do to put in place and the immediate teacher to help make their environment, other student[s] or employees as comfortable as possible.

One interviewee, who is connected to Title IX work, shared that they ask the person filing the complaint if they want to proceed with an investigation and/or desire a disciplinary outcome:

[Participant 5] …And then we also offer them the opportunity to have those pieces investigated if they want to seek action from a disciplinary type of remedy. Then we leave it completely up to them unless there’s some type of aggravating factor where I…would file a Title IX complaint on behalf of the complainant, the victim, to seek disciplinary resolution, even though the impacted person, the complainant, the victim, would not wish that to be the outcome. [In response to a similar question] I definitely think that getting the opinion of the impacted person is important for what they think is appropriate. You don’t have to go by that, but I think it’s important, and there’re so many nuances that it’s hard to say. I think most importantly, just having a process that is allowed for the appropriate response based on the allegation is what’s most important.

The same interviewee made a distinction between formal and informal complaints, describing rare occasions when they file a complaint on behalf of the person harmed, thus prompting the investigation process:

[Participant 5] Title IX [policy requires us] to respond to the victim within three days to offer those supportive services and the opportunity to file a Title IX complaint. If they file a Title IX complaint, we immediately start the investigation process. If there is no Title IX formal complaint filed, then, I …review the circumstances to determine if there should be one filed, which I have the authority to file on behalf of the complainant in certain circumstances, which I use very, very rarely. …Then if it goes the route of a formal complaint being filed, we investigate it, and we determine if there are violations of our policy, which include interpersonal violence, domestic violence, dating violence.

In most cases, interviewees shared that they involve a school counselor as a key support person. Depending on the severity of the incident and the immediate needs of the person reporting, referrals can also be made to outside agencies:

[Participant 3] When those incidents occur, we are to refer the students directly to the [lead administrator]… And then [they] handle it accordingly. Oftentimes I will be honest, we will go through counseling as well, just because we want the students to have as much support as they possibly can. …I make the referral to our counseling office, oftentimes, if the student is comfortable with that and if they’re not comfortable with that, then I’ll say, well, then our other option is to connect you with the domestic violence shelter or sometimes the rape crisis center, depending on the situation. And sometimes I do it more directly through the agencies as opposed to our counseling office. But either way, you know, referring that student out is just the way to deal with it, period. And being there as a support person along the way, too.

[Participant 4] If it’s been sexual violence, of course we deal with that very differently than we do with just psychological maybe, or that sort of thing. So the protocol is, if it’s reported at school or we know about it, that it goes straight to a counselor and then we call the student out and try to start any type of interventions we can, whether that’s one on one with the counselor, getting the parents involved.

Interviewees discussed taking a different approach when addressing incidents that happen outside of school. One interviewee shared that they would immediately call the Department of Social Services if a student reports witnessing physical violence at home:

[Participant 2] I think if a student came in and said that, “Dad beat my mom up last [night].” …I would call DSS and ask if there was an open case, and if not, to say this is what was just disclosed, and let it go from there.

Incidents occurring off campus or in the past were described by another interviewee as a “gray area” that presents challenges when coordinating a school response. In these cases, students are still connected to services even if the school determines that it’s out of their scope of involvement.

[Participant 3] …if a student comes to you about something that’s happened in the past or something that’s happening off campus, especially if it’s not pertaining to another student it’s like, I think there’s a gray area there and how much the [school] is even going to get involved. Cause at that point in time, it’s not as student disciplinary action so therefore the [lead administrator] really doesn’t have a place in that, and that becomes more of a counseling issue.

One interviewee described a specific time when their school followed a protocol that involved their Title IX Coordinator, principal, deputy, and Child Protective Services:

[Participant 1] It’s investigated. I know that. I know that if it’s reported that a student is abusing another student, anonymously or not, through the [online reporting system], it is investigated by our Title IX investigator. …I had a boy in eighth grade who was being raped by his brother, and the boy had mental health issues, and the brother was threatening him. …The boy confided and told me all the details. He had never told anybody because his brother was threatening, blackmailing him with videos, [saying] “Tell anybody, I’m going to report it.” That went to the principal, the principal went to the deputy, the deputy, we sat together and we called Child Protective Services, and it was investigated within 24 hours. …They found enough evidence that he went to prison. And so that’s the way it was handled.

Another interviewee mentioned the importance of having a process for both the victim and perpetrator. They shed light on the lack of support for youth perpetrators who would benefit from plans and accountability measures that decrease their chances of repeating harmful behavior. They believe the process should include an examination of service needs for everyone involved:

[Participant 4] But then we also have to think about the rights of the perpetrator, if someone discloses, but also until we have proof and investigate, then of course they have rights also. …I think the biggest change in the last two years…is I think that we’ve always been really good at looking at the victim and getting help for the victim and thinking about what services can be put in place. But now [school administrator] really pushes us to look out for the perpetrator because they’re a child. What can you put in place so they don’t repeat the behavior? So I love that we’re not just looking at consequences for those behaviors now, we’re actually talking to parents about what services should be put in place.

Two interviewees expressed a need for more clear guidance on how to appropriately adhere to the policies and protocols in place, specifically when students or staff are unfamiliar or uncomfortable following the recommended next steps:

[Participant 2] I will say I’m quite disillusioned with DSS having been on the outside world of the system, going and telling schools, “Don’t you investigate. You call DSS,” to then being in a school and calling DSS, and they’re asking me if I saw bruises. It’s not my job. That’s your job. And so my hope would be that if they are called to a domestic violence situation, the cops and DSS would be called because there was a kid, that somebody at DSS would let us know that that happened. I don’t know the timeframe that would happen.

[Participant 3] So the idea is that we are to refer these students to counseling, but I know that oftentimes that isn’t happening, whether the student doesn’t want to go to counseling or whether the faculty member just doesn’t feel comfortable doing that, or sometimes unfortunately maybe don’t even want to take the time to do it or even know that that’s what they’re supposed to do. I just don’t think that we’re as well informed as we should be about how to deal with such incidents, even if we do complete our annual online trainings. …I think that’s where the [school] could do a better job is, you know, making the sanctions known and providing like examples of like this sort of situation would fall under this sanction, this sort of situation fall under that sanction.

To address this issue, one interviewee, who is not associated with the Title IX office, talked about how they support other faculty members by sharing material and guiding them through the process:

[Participant 3] And consistently like we’ll send out links, some I’m almost at this point in time like known as the person on campus to go to, like when other faculty members have students that disclose information to them, they tend to come to me before they go anywhere and be like, who should I send them to? When I’ll give them my whole like go to counseling, if the student feels comfortable, if not, then take the student directly to this or that agency. And here are the contacts you need for those agencies.

One interviewee explained how the timing of the policy (June 2020) and how it was communicated impacted their understanding of the policy and preparedness to adhere to it:

[Participant 3] Now I think it was sometime in the spring and in my mind it was like early COVID shut down that the [school] sent out a newly revised protocol of like how they’re going to deal with these sorts of incidences on campus, whether it’s students making threats, students acting out aggressively. But you know, with it being during this timeframe, I think everybody just kinda like glanced over and was like, “Oh, okay. Like we’ll get, we’ll get to that, you know, another day.” So I couldn’t even tell you exactly what all of it said. I certainly glanced over it, but I am unaware largely of what the new protocols are. They’re attempting to address it fortunately. It’ll be interesting to see if they take the time to like fully advertise it and really train all of us on it once we return, or if it’s just another piece of paper that gets filed away.

Protocol for Responding to Staff Disclosures

Interviewees made a distinction between incidents between adults or involving adult staff only versus incidents where there are students involved. One interviewee expressed that there is a guaranteed response if the incident involves a student. In most cases an investigation will not be pursued if both parties are employees unless it is requested:

[Participant 5] Generally, I do not step in to file or investigate one of those matters…unless the person, complainant, wants me to, particularly with an employee on employee matter. A student on student matter might be the same response, but if it’s an employee and student involved, then I’m definitely going to jump in even if a student wouldn’t want to.

The same interviewee went on to share what needs to occur before an outside entity is contacted to further investigate:

[Participant 5] Anything that’s a crime, that’s when we would involve an outside entity. Generally what that’s going to exhibit and look like is going to be some type of physical violence. If it was an employee-on-employee, probably going to give a lot of deference to the employees involved, the victim, because they’re an adult. A student [on] student, probably going to get a lot of deference involved to the parents and the student. Employee on student, there’s not going to be much deference. We’re probably going to go ahead and get those outside entities involved, but for sure, it’s going to be the physical violence that’s when they’re crossing that line.

Similar to the approach taken when a student discloses, two interviewees shared affirming and supportive statements they use when a colleague discloses an incident to them. Both offer informal assistance as an empathetic colleague. Although well-intended, the first participant’s statement, reveals a lack of understanding of domestic violence dynamics and the lethality of leaving:

[Participant 1] It doesn’t go to the principal. But, “Thank you. I believe you. And how can I help you? Are you safe? And is there anything that I can do right now?” If it were a friend, even if it wasn’t a friend, just a colleague, “Do you need a place to stay tonight so you can be safe? I have an extra bedroom,” that kind of stuff. I’m not a hero, but I let them know that I believe them. And I emphatically encourage them to do the very best that they can to get out of that relationship before they don’t have the chance to.

[Participant 4] I mean, school faculties are usually pretty close-knit, so there’ll be a lot of people stepping in saying, “What can I do to help?” So I feel like we do have the procedures in place, the protocols in place formally, but also informally I think that there’s a lot of help.

Protocols for staff disclosures do not typically include services offered on the school site. Staff members may go through the Human Resources department and/or receive referrals to outside organizations providing adult services like counseling:

[Participant 3] We can’t refer them to counseling, but giving them the resources that they need to make the connections. Like I keep [DVSS’s] flyers and the rape crisis flyers and business cards in my office.

[Participant 4] For school personnel, I mean, we do the same thing pretty much. If we know about it, we do as much as we can to all offer the help through our Employee Assistance Program. So that allows them to have a first couple of sessions free with a therapist, any time. They can either do it online, by phone, or they can set up in an appointment, but there’s a hotline they can call if they’re experiencing some issues, whether it’s substance abuse or violence or mental health issues.

One interviewee talked about the need for Human Resources to take an earnest approach when responding to incidents involving staff and promote a climate that encourages reporting. The process was described as discouraging due to unfavorable determinations:

[Participant 3] I think the one improvement we absolutely could make would be to take any issues that are brought to HR more seriously and address them accordingly. …Like we can maybe go to HR, but I don’t think most people would do that. And there’s been, you know, times in the past where people have gone and then the result wasn’t in the favor of the victim or the victimized group of people and which further discourages people from stepping forward. So I think that again, there just needs to be climate change on campus before people overall feel more [supported].

Student Approval

Not all interviewees could confidently say students approved of school disclosure protocols. One interviewee stated that they would like to see student feedback data to confirm student approval:

[Participant 5] I would love to see the data. I think kids are fine with it. I think they know that we take it seriously now, which I don’t think that they thought we took it seriously a few years ago. I really don’t. I think there was probably a culture that maybe I was unaware of at the elementary level. Getting into this job…a little bit… Of more permissiveness on things that would be said and, “Don’t say that to her,” and that sort of thing.

The interviewee continued by saying that while they don’t think students would approve, they have noticed more respect for students who come forward now than they did in the past. In the past the impacted person wasn’t considered an active thought partner throughout the process:

[Participant 5] I would say probably not, but I don’t think students probably know what a good protocol is either. I don’t think they would approve, but I think it’s better than what it was as opposed to before where there’s deference that’s given to the impacted person, the complainant, as opposed to before there was no control. If we heard about it, we were responding in a way that we think is appropriate without any response or thoughts of the student or the impacted person.

They also added that the formal process can be cumbersome for some students and take a long time to resolve. Students may also request certain disciplinary outcomes that the school is unable to enact. If a student is desiring an immediate response, they are likely to not support the process:

[Participant 5] I think that they would probably complain about how formal it is and how long it could take to resolve a complaint. For example, how formal the process… is just because the report has come in doesn’t mean that we can treat it as true. So the report comes in and says, this student’s doing this to me, I want this to happen as a result. We can’t just do that. We have to afford the person that’s been accused an opportunity to defend themselves before we can take disciplinary action. That includes investigating and that takes time and so forth and so on. I think those are the pieces that students would say are not helpful because it doesn’t provide that immediate gratifying response, particularly with a discipline piece that some might look to or look for.

Another interviewee mentioned that students who are considered the aggressor are less supportive than students who report. They believe this is because issues of interpersonal violence, sexual harassment, and dating violence are seen as personal matters in which schools shouldn’t become involved:

[Participant 3] I don’t necessarily think they disapprove of it. …If it’s an incident that occurs on campus or between two students, I would say the aggressor is going to be less supportive of the protocol than the victim, because they probably don’t necessarily always think, “Oh, this isn’t an academic issue, this is a personal issue. The school has no business getting involved with it.” Without having the understanding that the school has a responsibility to protect all of its students. So I think it would depend on the situation, although I don’t think the students probably spend a whole lot of time thinking about any of our protocols and policies, nor are they probably very aware of ’em either.

However, the interviewee shared that they have noticed that certain students have gotten more comfortable utilizing on-campus counseling services:

[Pariticant 3] Now I think that, you know, some clearly are getting more comfortable than others having to go to counseling or to be reported to counseling.

Another interviewee reported the protocol has led to child-related issues being a serious priority for their school. Actions taken have promoted a safer environment and one that encourages reporting:

[Participant 4] But now I have to say with the adult issues we’ve had, it’s brought the child issues also to the top and we’re very serious about everything now. Which is great. And much safer for the kids, and hopefully they feel safer at school… [Later in the interview] I think the students know and we tell them, and now we have these anonymous reporting systems and they take it seriously. They’re like, “Okay, I’m going to report these things and I’m going to tell, and this is not okay to happen at school.” So I think that they’re fine with what we’re doing. I think they probably feel safer at school.

Sanctions for Perpetration of Interpersonal Violence, Sexual Harassment and Dating Violence

When discussing sanctions, three interviewees described their schools taking a “case-by-case” approach wherein schools and school systems make decisions based on the outcome of a report weighing multiple factors.

[Participant 3] Case by case, to my knowledge in any, any incident I’ve ever been aware of, it’s been case by case. …I think that it’s not very clearly defined in the times, you know, in the occurrences that I know of, but there’s not been a standard consequence that has occurred, whether it was between students or between employees or employee, student situation, there doesn’t seem to be any sort of standard response. It just very much depends on the situation. And it’s unfortunate because that message, I think, has been widely received on campus as well.

[Participant 4] Well, so for bullying it can range from anything from a restorative justice, parent conference, easy thing to moving… The perpetrator’s school can be moved. We can put them in alternative school, we can long-term suspend them. I mean, it depends on how bad it gets and how repetitive it is and how severe it is, but definitely we have moved kids. I mean, they moved schools for bullying.

[Participant 4] Depending on what the harassment is. There’s a difference, again, between really inappropriately touching another child and maybe using words that you heard from somebody else. So just that range of consequences.

[Participant 5] There’s a range that depends on something as simple as the parent conference as severe as expulsion or termination or verbal warning for employees. Depends on severity of the incident. It’s case by case basis. It is not written out specifically, but there is a range saying in our policies that it can result in discipline up to and including expulsion or termination. We are currently under the process of creating a tiered system of discipline for students, which would include sexual misconduct incidents. It’s a guiding document. It’s not like a student has hit this person three times; therefore, you must give them a five day suspension. It will look more like a system of you can do anything from a parent conference up to a five day suspension.

One interviewee described a case-by-case approach to adult disclosures which factors in less punitive responses to incidents they believe could be addressed with a conversation:

[Participant 3] I say that it would depend on the degree of the incident. Like if…the colleague that kisses me on the top of my head, I don’t think that he needs to be fired for that. You know, like I think that there’s something where the supervisors certainly have an obligation to pull someone aside and be like, this behavior is unacceptable and it must stop. …it’s case by case, but…clearly, a laid out protocol like this case matches this step and this scenario and this repercussion based on all the evidence that we have gathered.

Another interviewee discussed the importance of listening to all parties to piece together a more complete and accurate story outlining an incident, possible causes, and desired outcomes:

[Participant 2] Yeah. So if there is an office referral, we get to read what the adults put in the system as to what happened, but we take that as one side of the story. And so we always bring the student in to share from their point of view, what happened and then have a conversation with them about what would be the fair response for how they can repair the harm that was done and go from there. It’s never the adult saying, we heard this is what happened. This is what’s going to happen to you and never get their opinion about it.

One interviewee said that they would not use their Title IX policy to guide their future actions in the event that a complaint is resolved by way of an agreement reached by students. Instead, they would concentrate on upholding the conditions agreed upon by students and creating the most comfortable environment possible:

[Participant 5] What would happen if a Title IX complaint was not solved? We would not look to our title IX policies for resolution. We would look at either resolving through just making the environment as comfortable as possible through a class change or seat change or a stay away agreement where students agree they’ll stay away from each other and won’t contact each other. That’s one route it could go.

How Expulsion is Determined

One interviewee shared that students with a history of harassment are put on safety plans that require extra supervision and sometimes a change in schools. Across interviews, expulsion was mentioned as a safety-promoting measure. In most cases, it is seen as an appropriate response to ongoing and pervasive harassment:

[Participant 4] But within the school system, whether it’s gone to the courts or not, if we find it’s sexual harassment, then you probably are going to get moved to a different school than the person you’re harassing. …Anytime someone feels intimidated by somebody else, then we really look at how we can separate them.

[Participant 4] But for sexual harassment, if it’s pervasive and ongoing, I mean, we put a safety plan in place for those kids. They have extra supervision, sometimes we change their schools. There’s just a lot that we put into it to make sure that they don’t, one, re-victimize the other child or victimize somebody else…. I think that we’ve done a good job of trying to really work with the child and even think about like, if we move their elementary school, are they going to be in middle school together? We’re not going to allow them to be in the same schools. Sometimes you just, as much as you discipline and teach, you just can’t change the behavior and then you just need to separate the children out.

Another interviewee described an incident where a report resulted in an expulsion:

[Participant 3] Like sometimes students are suspended temporarily. There was one case and it was more of a threat made to a nonbinary student, a threat of violence where that student ended up being expelled, but it wasn’t a given. It was a fight that really had to be fought particularly by the faculty member who witnessed it. She was unrelenting in terms of not taking anything less than that because she felt it was her duty to protect that student. So she really had to fight long and hard for that outcome because initially the administration wasn’t necessarily going to be that harsh. Like it seems that there’s oftentimes this idea that…having the students on campus is, first and foremost, what’s most important. And if you expel a student then you’re losing that student and they’re very reluctant to go in that way, even when it’s obvious that that is the direction that needs to take. So hopefully we’re learning.

Accountability Measures

With the introduction of restorative practices intended to reduce violence, repair harm, and foster safety, some schools are shifting away from punishment and toward accountability and personal responsibility. One interviewee shared their thoughts on an approach that promotes empathy and societal awareness:

[Participant 2] …what you’re going to have to do in order to repair the harm is you need to go see what harm this causes in the world, in society… I think similar to substance use, if you’re caught with substances, I want you going to a class so you’re learning something. It’s not punishment, but we need you to understand how this is going to harm you.

Another interviewee shared that their school holds students accountable to their sanction plan by requiring proof of participation in order to return to school:

[Participant 4] So the accountability part, I mean, we put things into place that they have to participate in or they don’t come back to school. I know that sounds awful, but it’s true. I mean, we’re not going to let other kids be terrorized by certain kids.

The interviewee talked about instances where they get the courts involved in order to push for additional needs like mental health services.

[Participant 4] We tell them, “You need to change this behavior or you’re not welcome in school.” And then, is that the best thing for the perpetrator? Absolutely not. But sometimes if parents won’t agree to mental health services and won’t agree to this, and won’t agree to that, and sometimes the accountability comes unfortunately through the court system because we’ve diverted as much as we can.

Accountability Challenges

One interviewee spoke about how schools have historically diminished or removed sexual misconduct and dating violence reports from their records. This reality exacerbates the underreporting and inconsistent tracking of such cases, despite current efforts to encourage reporting:

[Participant 1] Well, for decades, things were swept under the rug, hoping they would just go away, files were shredded to bury evidence that things were reported, and abuse from a teacher on students was happening, there were cover-ups. No, that wasn’t handled the right way. …So I think we are making a lot of progress very quickly, but it’s too bad it came on the heels of a lot of victims who weren’t believed. Yeah.

Throughout the interviews, interviewees talked about the challenges of implementing sanctions for the perpetration of IPV, sexual harassment, and dating violence. Most of them stem around lack of follow through, lack of lasting impact, and/or competing social factors:

[Participant 2] There are things where you can have them do an online learn this lesson thing. The problem is there’s no adult or follow through as to what did they learn from that….if you were to then go ask that student what they learned from the program they just had to go through, I don’t know, because they either failed it or didn’t understand it. There needs to be more of that relational piece where I’m not just sitting you in front of a computer to do this module and hope you get something out of it.

[Participant 2] …there would tend to be this amazing effort of being restorative until a week before [break]. And then any incidents that happened that week before they’re going out on break, they would just be like, “Suspend, suspend, suspend.” And I’m sitting there going, “Wait, what?” So again, it comes down to the tolerance of the adults and how… they [are] willing to stick to doing something to make change, or we’re just going to fall back to the easy habit way of, “Just get the hell out of our building. Can [we] have a peaceful at least last week of school before break?”

[Participant 3] Some people have been held accountable for their actions where others haven’t been. And does the accountability always match the action? I would guess that it typically does not, and we, overall, will need to do a better job with accountability if we do want climate change.

[Participant 4] Do we always get the great outcomes we want? Absolutely not. Sometimes we’re fighting a lot of battles with these kids and I see the kids that had problem behaviors, harassment, discrimination, bullying when they were little and… still grow up and join gangs and those sorts of things.

One interviewee discussed how in some cases the burden is falling on the victim. They described instances where students who have been victimized are encouraged to leave or are redirected in the hallways to avoid contact with the person who harmed them:

[Participant 1]This is such a gray area because if a kid is accused of being a sexual harasser/abuser with another student in that same building, I’ve heard some horrible consequences, where the victim was told, “You can go to a different school, if you’d like. We think it’d be good if you went to a different school for your own safety so you don’t have to run into that person.” Or, “This is the route you have to take when you leave this class. You have to go this way because the kid who you accused of abusing or harassing you will be coming from the other direction, to avoid.”

The interviewee went on to describe how this is almost shaming to victims and how they are unclear on how sanctions are used currently in order to avoid this

[Participant 1] And that almost is victim blaming, sort of, or shaming. But I don’t know if there’s like one strike, two strikes. I don’t know what the consequences are. I think if it’s investigated and… I don’t know. I don’t know. I can’t even speak to that. Again, I haven’t read the new board policies. Sorry

When considering the most effective intervention in reducing incidents of harassment and bullying, one interviewer talked about how expulsion presents a missed opportunity to correct behavior:

[Participant 5] If we expel a kid, they don’t have the opportunity even to reoffend, so it doesn’t necessarily change the behavior but it dims the opportunity for the next action within the full context.

Two interviewees brought attention to missed opportunities to educate students who commit harm and to really work with them to figure out where the behaviors are coming from:

[Participant 2] Well, so like I said, I feel like the majority of stuff that has happened in our school happens because the adults in the school are not teaching the students what these things are. So I do feel like with the [classrooms] where we came in and said, “If you were at any other school, this would’ve been sexual harassment, sexual assault, sexual bullying. You would’ve probably been suspended, potentially charged.” And I kept saying, “Did you even know that this was something that you were doing that was potentially against the law?” No, of course they didn’t, because we didn’t teach them. So first and foremost, I would argue that it’s up to the schools to teach them what bullying is and what all of those things are.

[Participant 4] So I think that that’s a really tough thing for kids to overcome. I think that lots of times we lack the compassion to sit and try to work through things like that with kids so that they can learn to manage those emotions. And it’s just easier to deal with the consequences than actually do the real work of figuring out why they’re showing these behaviors.

One interviewee suggested looking more broadly at student policies outside of the sexual harassment policy to address overlapping components that promote student safety and accountability:

[Participant 5] Or the school itself to look at other policies such as the general student code of conduct outside of the sexual piece to see if there are components that overlap that it can address at the school through general student code of conduct policies that are not sexual.

Ideal/Effective Sanctions

Throughout their responses three interviewees promoted intervention outcomes where students are given additional opportunities to learn about the causes and impact of their behavior and, in some instances, follow up with an action demonstrating what was learned:

[Participant 2] Yeah, I mean the past year, a lot of what we did was that they were going to learn about what it was that had caused the harm. And then what lesson were they going to create? So my favorite is seventh grade boys did sock puppets. They created a whole sock puppet show and had it filmed with virtual background about respect and it was shown to all the younger grades. [In response to similar question] …we’ve had a lot of, “They’re bullying me. They’re bullying me,” without really understanding, is this true bullying or are they picking on you? And what’s the difference between that? And can it be solved with you guys coming together and having a conversation or is it that power dynamic where they are causing you harm? The restorative works to a point except when you can’t get the student who is the bullied student to come to the circle and voice their feelings. So I still think that the apology has to come from the student that is doing the bullying.

[Participant 4] And we’re lucky that we have day treatment in this county. They’re sexual harassment behaviors, but are really just a lot of sexually inappropriate learned behavior. Or maybe those kids have been sexually assaulted themselves. Luckily we have some programs we can put those kids in to really work on those behaviors. So we’re really lucky that we have more choices than other school systems. [Later in the interview] I think that our juvenile justice does a great job, especially with problem sexual behaviors. I think they’ve really made a lot of effort to try to look at that from a therapeutic model and how can we help these kids that have these really young and serious sexual problems, sexual behaviors… [Later in the interview] So lots of times, I mean, we’ll ask them to sit and write what they could have done alternatively. But lots of times the written reflection I think it’s really a better use of time to have somebody sit and reflect with that student sometimes….Who can ask them the key questions. Because lots of times, for the behaviors, the reason they’re doing the behaviors is they may not exactly know what’s wrong with it. I know that sounds silly, but it’s true. They’re like, “I didn’t think it was that big of a deal, it’s what we hear all the time.” So to have an adult kind of walk them through that reflection sometimes is better than just asking them to self-reflect. [Later in the interview] I think teen court is really effective for some of these things. I think for them to hear from their friends or peers, that these are not okay behaviors.

[Participant 5] I do think education is a huge piece of that response, some type of restorative practice, but it’s tough to say because so many different factors can go into it…more pieces should be part of that process. Definitely there should be some educating in there for sexual harassment and for violence as well.

One of those interviewees also spoke about the importance of parent and teacher involvement:

[Participant 2] We need the parents involved and have a circle to come up with what is the plan going to be. …I want the adults involved. I want the parent and teacher of that classroom to have to be involved in the circle. We haven’t gone that far. So instead, it’s at this point been the assistant principal, myself, and the students. And I think that it’s a nice… I mean, it’s a step. I don’t think it does enough to actually have the whole bigger picture understand what’s happening. And I think we missed the opportunity of pulling in the family because then if …is hearing, “Oh, my child is treating somebody like this.” What is their self-reflection? Because I don’t know what’s happening in their home. But for them to then be able to be like, “Well, so what is happening that [makes] you think that you have the right to treat somebody this way.” Or on the flip side, “What is happening in our family that has you believing that you should be treated this way?”

One interviewee discussed the importance of a safety plan that includes mental health services to assist students with identifying and changing patterned thinking and behavior that contributes to harm:

[Participant 4] So again, I think for sexual harassment, again, I think you got to get those kids into counseling because you got to change that thinking pattern. That’s definitely a thought pattern that’s off. So I think the best intervention for that is…I think that the best thing is to solve the situation at hand, set up a safety plan so those kids don’t continually do it to other kids, but then get those kids into counseling. Just change that thought pattern. Because until you change that thought pattern, they’re going to repeat that behavior over and over again.

That interviewee expressed that getting support from organizations outside of the school system can provide an additional lens and support measures that schools couldn’t otherwise sustain:

[Participant 4] So I feel like we do a great job from the very early stages of looking at mental health of kids and how we can change that thinking, I mean all the way up to working with the court system. So I think that we really use what we have available to us in the school system and then also what we can get from outside partners, because there’s some things the school system just can’t handle.

Norms Around Aggression

Define Aggression

Collectively interviewees described aggression as physical, verbal, or nonverbal behaviors that impact physical, emotional, and mental well-being:

[Participant 1] Physical, emotional, or mental abuse I think is aggressive.

[Participant 2] I think aggression can be physical or not physical. I think that it can be aggression towards yourself. It can be aggression towards other people.

[Participant 3] Acting out in a way that could be perceived or is perceived as threatening to another person. It can be vocally aggressive behavior. It could be physically aggressive behavior. It could be aggressive behavior that you just convey through the written word, but any behavior that is perceived as threatening to another individual. Which makes it a bit complicated because it’s all about perception of that other individual that, you know, maybe I necessarily wasn’t being aggressive, but it just came off as such.

[Participant 4] Aggression is seeking power… Usually through physical power, sometimes through psychological power over somebody else to demean them.

[Participant 5] Aggression I think I would define as outward actions or expressions that place a person in fear or aggression [and/or] that places a person in fear of some type of bodily harm or contact.

Define Bullying

Two interviewees describe bullying as unsolicited, repeated behavior for the purpose of power and control:

[Participant 2] …it goes back to power and control. So if I’m constantly harassing somebody because I have, for whatever reason, more power over them and nobody is stepping in to help out, then it becomes a bullying situation. And again, if it’s without their consent, whether it’s just using your words or whether you’re actually doing something that is taunting them and causing them harm, but it’s all going to come down to power. Who’s in the power position and… What are [they] doing?

[Participant 4] Bullying again is power and control, that is a repeated behavior. So there’s a difference between being mean to somebody and bullying somebody. So I think that it’s a repeated behavior that really targets someone for the power and control.

Define Sexual Harassment

Four interviewees defined sexual assault as unwelcomed conduct of a sexual nature:

[Participant 1] I define sexual harassment as making anybody feel…uncomfortable based on their gender.

[Participant 3] Anytime there is a comment, a gesture, a touch that makes someone feel uncomfortable that is of a sexual nature. I think this idea of like, well, what is of a sexual nature is a blurry line at this point in time.

[Participant 4] Sexual harassment is definitely anything that you say or do in a sexual way that makes somebody else feel uncomfortable. Again, it’s that power, having that power over somebody. Or making somebody feel really humiliated

[Participant 5] Any type of unwelcome conduct of a sexual nature is how I define it.

Aggression & Sexual Harassment in Schools/On Campus

When discussing aggression and sexual harassment in schools, one interviewee talked about both direct and indirect aggressive behaviors. They defined them on a spectrum with fighting being the most extreme and verbal taunting being less extreme:

[Participant 2] I say the most aggressive… Definitely the extreme example would be a fight… What’s less extreme is then verbal, because I think you can be aggressive with taunting people.

Two interviewees expressed that certain classroom management styles such as an authoritarian approach are a form of aggression. They argue that teachers who are frustrated are more likely to take an aggressive approach to classroom management because they do not want to be perceived as lacking power and control:

[Participant 2] And then not student-to-student, but I would think teacher-to-student. And I would argue it’s aggression, but the, “You will be quiet in my classroom. You will not move,” I think is a form of aggression in terms of needing that power and control. So I would argue that a reaction to a stressor is aggression. I think that it would come out more that I’ve been sitting on this frustration and I’m going to be aggressive. [In response to a similar question] When that teacher gets upset because they cannot manage the class… [the perceived judgment is] there must be something weak in you that you cannot get this class under control. [In response to a similar question]I think they would call it discipline. I would call it bullying. I don’t know if it’s worn as a badge of pride that you’re the classroom that kids get sent to for ISS because you’re the one that’s going to scare the ever-living crap out of them.

[Participant 4] But now when I think back to things my teachers said to humiliate kids in the ’70s and ’80s…I think teachers are the kings of microaggression to keep kids in line and humiliated enough or scared enough to not do something that’s going to…make that teacher say something that’s going to embarrass them. So I think that teachers have used…that kind of bullying behavior to control classrooms. I think there’s definitely some of that in behavior management. [In response to a similar question] …I think any workplace, there’s always some type of bullying going on. Someone who wants to be in charge and feel better about themselves and humiliate other people. …it’s always about wanting power or control or whatever it might be over somebody else, whether it’s a student to student or staff member to student.

One of the interviewees made a connection between sports and aggression. They point out that competitive sports bring out frustration and anger in youth. Without a way to regulate or co-regulate, aggressive behavior becomes a norm thus impacting school culture:

[Participant 2] Every sport that the PE teachers bring up, I’m like, “Why are you doing all this competitive stuff?” It just breeds frustration and anger and they don’t know how to manage that. And it will blow up in your face every time.

Between School Personnel

One interviewee identified two noticeable trends in sexual harassment among school personnel: unsolicited commentary and dating advances. They considered these behaviors less severe but persistent:

[Participant 5] I think it happens mainly with the unwanted verbal comments and unwanted or persistent courting. …I wouldn’t categorize it as severe, but I definitely think it happens when it comes to those verbal type of communications that are ultimately unwanted or unwelcome

Three of the interviewees reflect on their tenure in education. Using their early experiences as a benchmark, they concluded that over time they have seen a decline in staff-to-staff overt sexual harassment. Two interviewees attributed it to people being more aware of what sexual harassment is and the consequences of committing it:

[Participant 1] I think the tide has turned [and] we’ve made a lot of progress. I do not see staff-to-staff sexual harassment at all. Almost the polar opposite, very cautious and careful, as well they should be.

[Participant 3] I think for the most part we’re improving in that regard. …I don’t see it as overtly as I used to in the beginning of my career so I think that there’s a conscientious effort to reduce that. I think people overall are more aware of what sexual harassment is and the repercussions of sexual harassment. So it’s like we’re doing a better job governing ourselves.

[Participant 4] I think there probably is more than there was when I was a young teacher. But then again, then I think maybe I should ask some young teachers because, you know, I’m 50. It’s a lot different than being 25. And so the things that were said to me when I was 25 or 30, don’t get said to me when I’m at 50 from superiors.

One of the interviewees shared an interview experience three decades ago where a football coach commented on their body build and compared it to a female teacher in the school:

[Participant 1] 30 years ago, I interviewed for a job in a …school very casually with the football coach who was an old school type, typical, stereotypical macho guy. And I was dressed business conservatively. And I walked in and he looked me up and down and he said, “We need more fit health PE teachers that look like you around here.” And then he even said, “Have you seen so-and-so?” Who was a female teacher at that school. And that would never fly today.

Another interviewee shared an experience they are still having with a colleague. In their reflection they talk about how sexual harassment can be ignored or overlooked if it is not clearly defined. They argue that while people are more conscious of their actions than they have been in the past, there is still a need for clarity and training, especially when people have different perspectives on what is appropriate in certain settings, boundaries, and consent:

[Participant 3] And I think that’s why we’re starting to have so many incidences that occurred like in the 1990s and the 1980s and the 1970s even, of people that are still active in their careers, like well, I touched her shoulder, I didn’t really see that as a sexual nature. Or like I have a colleague still to this day where he occasionally comes up and he kisses me on the top of my head and that absolutely could be sexual harassment. I don’t think it’s ever even entered into his consciousness, but that is what that is. Right? So it’s like how we, we as a society need to very definitively figure out exactly what is a sexual nature and spread that message to people of all age groups if we do want to…reduce the incidences of sexual harassment that occur. I think they have been reduced to a degree. I think people today are more conscious of their actions than they have been in the past. And I would even give that credit to most of your, like recently the Me Too movement, if nothing else, I think it’s scared of a lot of people to be more conscientious of the way that they treat others in this regard. But that’s a step in the right direction, in my opinion, even though I still don’t think that there’s been the clarity that needs to occur in regards to this is what is absolutely appropriate and anything outside of this is inappropriate and should be avoided.

Between School Personnel & Students

Three interviewees shared that inappropriate behavior is more common amongst male educators than female educators. One interviewee points out that behaviors by male teachers are more observable and public compared to female teachers. Two interviewees shared that such incidents happen less frequently than in the past:

[Participant 3] There are definitely some faculty members that cross the line, particularly male [teachers] in a way that they flirt with and will give maybe special treatment to female students that they have deemed to be attractive. Behind closed doors, having inappropriate conversations about, you know, said students, and …I would assume if it’s that overt, that is probably obvious within the classroom setting. Now the [teachers] that I’m thinking of tend to be older, and it’s behavior that’s been able to just, you know, occur year after year, decade after decade and never has been addressed. People being promoted and that behavior not being addressed, where I think I don’t tend to see that occurring as much amongst female faculty members. But if it has occurred, they certainly kept it under wraps a whole lot more than what has happened with some of the male colleagues of mine. I don’t see as much of that happening now, as I used to when I first started teaching there. So maybe we have improved in that regard. Hopefully.

[Participant 4] [When describing how sexual harassment plays out between school personnel and students] That’s interesting. Five years ago I would’ve said not much, but now that I’ve been involved in all the sexual assault cases… Sometimes not even inappropriate touching, but just inappropriate things being said between adults and kids. I think it was a real eye-opener for me. I just didn’t think that went on as much as it did, and obviously it went on a lot.

[Participant 5] I’ve seen a handful of times, but it’s rare, but I have seen it before. Individual cases. Oftentimes there are males that are involved. In my experience…It’s males that are the perpetrators in these situations.

One interviewee attributes it to hypersensitivity due to growing awareness:

[Participant 4] So I think now we are also super-heightened to that. … I think that we’re now we’re hyper-sensitive to it, to the point where we’re all suspicious of each other when it comes to sexual harassment or some type of sexual inappropriateness that, yeah, I think that we’re all hyper-sensitive now.

This interviewee shared a personal story about a time a student made a sexualized comment about their body. They described this incident as confusing at first because they were not familiar with the language used by the student, and later uncomfortable and embarrassing because the comment was related to their buttocks. They reflected on how their close relationship with the student made them more comfortable expressing themselves and the interviewee used it as an opportunity to educate them about sexual harassment in a nonconsequential way:

[Participant 1] I find it hilarious. …I was sexually harassed and I called them out on it. I didn’t know what it meant. …I walked out and one of the students said, “…you looking kind of thick.” And I said, “What? I’ve just lost 10 pounds. How can you be calling me thick?” “No, miss, no, miss. Thicc, T-H-I-C-C.” And she said, “You know, like your butt, it’s referring to [a] thick butt. That’s a compliment.”… I said, “Oh my God.” The kids were laughing then when I said, “Oh, I’m so embarrassed. And I thank you, I think, but …It’s not appropriate to talk about anybody’s body and I’m [going to] back away from this conversation right now.” …I know that she didn’t mean it as sexual harassment because I like to form relationships with kids that they feel like they go just a little bit further over the edge, but I did call it out as sexual harassment. It’s not okay to talk about people’s bodies.

Between Students

Three interviewees had differing observations about how often aggression and sexual harassment play out between students. Two interviewees described it as rarely happening while one interviewee described it as more prevalent and known due to their school’s incident reporting systems:

[Participant 3] From what I witness, they, they tend to be relatively well-behaved in this regard.

[Participant 4] It just kind of breaks my heart because we see… more of it because people can put stuff into Say Something or [incident documentation system].

[Participant 5] It’s pretty rare in my eyes particularly in K-12. I haven’t seen a situation honestly where aggression has played a role in a sexual harassment complaint, not at this age, generally not in my experience.

Another interviewee (whose school’s occurrences of sexual harassment are less frequent) also shared that behaviors and interactions could be less observable and known because they are occurring in areas where there is less supervision such as hallways, outside, or on digital devices like phones:

[Participant 3] I think it’s probably entirely different than what we see happening in the classrooms or even in the hallways or even on the campus sidewalks. But from what I witness on campus, the students, they don’t appear to have much of an issue. Now, you know, you think about their interactions and so many of them are interacting via their phones, and not interacting in the same sort of ways that we did, more like visually, so what’s occurring on the phones? I don’t know. And if I don’t want to know, and I imagine there’s still a lot of problem behavior that’s being expressed, it’s just not as obvious as it once was.

Four interviewees mentioned verbal commentary such as teasing, jokes, catcalling, and derogatory statements as the most common behaviors:

[Participant 1] I literally have only heard very minor comments about people’s bodies that I consider sexual harassment. In the middle schools, big problem. I saw it a lot in the middle schools, but not in the high schools as much anymore.

[Participant 2] I think teasing. So teasing then gets out of hand because the person who keeps it going is not recognizing that they’re taking it too far. Right? So that’s the thing to teach is it can be all in fun, but you need to be able to recognize in the person who you are jabbing this back and forth with when they’re done because if you push too far, then their retaliation is going to end up becoming physical.

[Participant 3] …I know that they still sometimes are, you know, making jokes or the old school, like catcalling and stuff like that, but I don’t even really see a whole lot of that occurring at this point in time.

[Participant 4] But just those constant jabs of smacking butts as you go by, or saying things that are completely inappropriate, or calling a girl a whore or a slut. I see a lot of that playing out between boys and girls. And then I also see a lot of it playing out between kids that will pick out what they think is a feminine male and doing the same types of things to them. Maybe not the smacking of the butts so much, but using derogatory statements, calling them [gay slur] and that sort of thing. So I see a lot of that, just constant picking at each other. And the thing about that is you never know when it’s going to come. So I think a lot of kids live in fear at school.

One interviewee talked about how aggression and sexual harassment play out between students as behaviors to assert dominance and control. They specifically point out the role the media plays in normalizing such behaviors and believe behaviors aren’t necessarily always provoked by other students. Instead, they suggest that it is intrinsically motivated:

[Participant 4] For aggression and bullying between students, it always, again, it just fits the norm that you see on every TV show… The child needs the power and control is always going to find a victim that is easy. You’re not going to find a hard target. So I think that lots of times where parents are like, “Well, they must have done something.” Lots of times there’s nothing. So I think that there’s definitely this desire within kids that want that power and that control and the bullying and harassment situations, to strike children who are really not doing anything that should cause that aggression or that hate towards that other child. So I think it’s really interesting that people always think that kids are provoked and lots of times it’s not provoking. It’s just, “I want to feel better about myself and you are an easy target.”

Aggression Worthy of Intervention

Three interviewees talked about the importance of addressing aggressive behavior when it occurs:

One interviewee expressed that they do not tolerate aggressive language in their presence whether it be done by students or teachers. They are aware that students are learning and relearning how to appropriately socialize, especially since the pandemic, and use those opportunities as teachable moments:

[Participant 1] I don’t even tolerate aggressive language… “Shut up” to me said in class is aggressive. I set the standards at the very beginning of what’s tolerated and not, and they know what my expectations are and they like to meet those. But crossing the line? I guess I’ve been really fortunate since I’ve been back in the classroom that I haven’t had kids be aggressive. I’m at three schools, where the kids are not [aggressive]… They might verbally be a little aggressive like, “Shut up.” And sometimes kids will, when they’re out playing soccer during their lunch, I might hear them curse at each other and stuff, verbally aggressive. But we don’t have physically aggressive fights here or partner abuse in our schools on campus that I’m aware of. I know that it’s happening in the other schools though, traditional high schools, at a higher level than it ever has. [As expanded on in Impacts of COVID-19 Pandemic section above] And I think it has a lot to do with kids relearning how to be social since they were isolated for two and a half years. They haven’t had a normal school year in years.

Similarly, another interviewee shared that they address the entire class after an incident to process what occurred and restore students’ sense of safety. They believe it’s not enough to simply handle an incident (outside of the classroom). Those who witnessed the behavior should be addressed and supported too:

[Participant 2] And made it a teachable moment for everybody in that classroom to learn that whatever the behavior was, you harmed the relationship of the classroom or you harmed the safety of the classroom, whatever it was that did not require you to just ignore this situation, write it up and have somebody else manage the consequence of that situation. Which I do think requires, there’s not been enough.

The other two interviewee talks about how the escalation of aggressive behavior commonly stems from a lack of intervention from the teacher:

[Participant 2] I think it’s that power over somebody. And again, I argue, this is where the restorative needs that continuum and it can’t just be that we’re reacting and following up with a circle because it’s a conflict when it really wasn’t a conflict. It’s just that the teacher didn’t intervene over here and let it keep going.

[Participant 3] And I think once somebody is perceived as being aggressive, oftentimes it’ll either escalate incidents or encourage the person that perceives a threat to sort of like shut down, sort of that fight or flight mentality. And the behavior is typically not addressed accordingly or nipped in the bud from the beginning. I think you see a lot [when students] are acting in ways that they think is appropriate, where they don’t even really know what is and what is inappropriate yet, and nobody really addressing it. So then those sorts of behaviors just continue on for years and decades until, you know, truly violent incidents occur sometimes. And those truly violent incidences often times will even occur during those early years and go unaddressed.

Three interviewees gave examples of interactions that often lead to aggressive reactions involving sports or games. In all instances the aggressive interactions negatively impact relationships:

[Participant 1] I had a group of kids outside and we were playing volleyball, six on six, and an adult staff member came out very competitive. She is very competitive and playing on a team with the students, “I’m really good. I’m going to beat you guys.” And when other athletes, well, other students missed a ball, she was verbally aggressive with them. I let it happen once. And then I heard another student say to a female, “So-and-so, you should’ve had that. You missed that.” And so then I called that kid out on it. But the next ball that was hit, the staff member said something very verbally aggressive to a student, and I called her straight out on it too. And the kids all went, “Yeah, see? You too.”

[Participant 2] So an example would be recess. So we’re all involved in this game. And part of the game is tag, right? Or dodge ball. Dodgeball always ends up becoming this disaster where somebody then feels wronged. So I feel like if you finish that game and you are hanging onto it and hanging onto it and hanging onto it and then sucker punch somebody after the fact, it’s now crossed the line. Like now you’re no longer, this was a rough and tumble dodge ball game and everybody competing and playing fine. You held onto it, reacted aggressively.

[Participant 3] [It crosses the line] when the perceived threat occurs or somebody on the other end feels uncomfortable or is actually scared or hurt by the behavior. There is a fine line…when you enter into those relationships like in sports, gaming …I’m not a gamer, but I presume…the chat…can be taken too far. Amongst friends sometimes it’s taken too far.

One of the interviewees describes how aggressive play even amongst friends subconsciously normalizes behaviors related to intimate partner violence. They argue that if the actions are not corrected over time they can transform into unhealthy relational habits:

[Participant 3] Even in that like play fight of platonic friends and then in relationships, I think that’s where you end up with a lot of the early onset of IPV is not necessarily understanding the impact that your actions have. Those actions not being corrected and then just basically starting habits and trends of behavior.

Another interviewee talked about personal thresholds related to aggression and responses to aggression. They believe the perception of aggression is really dependent on the victims’ ability to recognize it as such and their tolerance level:

[Participant 4] I think a lot of times it’s not the person having the aggression, as it is the person receiving the aggression. So some people can take more aggression than other people. So I think it really depends on more on the victim than it does on the perpetrator. So for someone to say, “Well, that shouldn’t hurt your kid’s feelings.” Well, you’re not that kid. So I think a lot of it has to do with how it’s received on the victim’s side.

Different from the examples listed above, one interviewee talked about instances where normal student behavior crosses the line from behaviors to aggression requiring intervention. They used fights with weapons as an example:

[Participant 5] When weapons are involved, I think that’s one. I think history, number, patterns, how many times those more expected altercations occur. The more frequent, the more there might be time for some type of intervention: weapons, and frequency. I guess also the severity, if there is one that occurred, the severity of the outcome could influence the action before the next active aggression. I’d say the pattern or how repeated these actions, if there’re weapons and how severe these acts of aggressions are.

Appropriate Aggression

Two interviewees described instances where aggression is deemed suitable or expected in sports. Both interviewees did not necessarily agree that that made the aggression okay:

[Participant 1] I don’t think forms of aggression are deemed suitable in school. Now, a football coach might say very, very different or a wrestling coach might say something very different because they expect their athletes to be aggressive at certain times. But in the classroom, aggressive behaviors, I ain’t got no time for that.

[Participant 3] …we encourage aggressive sports, I guess that’s one way to get the aggression out. My students tend to love video games and things, another way to sort of like express aggressive behavior without necessarily taking in aggressive behavior. They still make a lot of jokes [and]…play [fight] with each other. …I would say that those are probably the most acceptable forms, even though all of those could lead to problems or problem behavior eventually.

Two interviewees talked about the role of child development and developmentally appropriate behavioral outbursts. They make the point that students react to their environment before learning how to co-regulate or cope with social or environmental stressors:

[Participant 2] Oh. I mean, I think the kindergartner having a full-on temper tantrum and being out in the hallway because we need to co-regulate and work with them. Right? They’re learning how to…make it be in a healthy situation. …they’re trying to get a need met.

[Participant 4] I think that sometimes we adultify little ones’ behaviors too early with the aggression. So having a fit or a tantrum or snatching something from another kid, or even hitting… not punching, but hitting on the playground when they get mad. With our four, five, six, seven year olds, I think that is still a teachable behavior and not so much [aggression]… Everybody calls it aggression. I don’t know if it’s so much aggression as it is not being able to act out your feelings in any other way. And I think that is very developmental.

Related to co-regulating behaviors, one interviewee gave two examples of how their school takes a developmentally appropriate and restorative approach to help students destress. They believe it is the responsibility of adults to have a plan in place before behaviors get more excessive or extreme:

[Participant 2] What is it that they’re going to do before it becomes a full-blown, aggressive situation? …if we as the adults can’t figure out how to help them do it in a way that is successful, it will always blow up in our face. …When we were all in-person and could manage it, one of our TAs would always have time during the lunch period that students could just go use the punching bag. …So they’d made it through half the day and they needed just that release. …But I think you need to be consistent with it and I think you need to have a plan…students [are] learning [about] themselves. It’s like with the Take 10. If they’re in the classroom and getting so frustrated, whether it’s with the academics or with somebody yammering in the back of the classroom, that they’re allowed to say they need to take 10 [minutes]. And then what does that look like? They come to the restorative room and they do jumping jacks, pushups, drawing.

Two interviewees shared ways their schools are prioritizing social-emotional learning, beginning as early as kindergarten. Both interviewees discuss the importance of early education, which includes expanding students’ emotional vocabulary, modeling ideal interactions, solving problems nonviolently, and introducing and practicing coping methods. They emphasize the importance of whole-school participation, especially among teachers who interact with students while they manage challenging emotions throughout the day:

[Participant 2] So we had this year, I created a morning meeting for every morning that had a video. … So we’ve already decided we’re going to take on just teaching the social, emotional, and ethical learning, which teaches students the community resilience model to really help them start doing the tracking and doing all of the things to help them. I would love it. I don’t think that the K-2 do enough of teaching emotion vocabulary and/or modeling very good interaction, because I am fully of the belief that it’s the adults that are the problem. So I want to create a community of practice with staff to say like, “You need to start learning new affirmative statements and create the peace process in your classroom or a peace corner so that you’re getting students to start solving their own problems, talking about how things made them feel, which then in turn you need to teach them feelings words so that our kids are not just always happy, angry, sad. We need to build that vocabulary for them.” So I’m trying to really get the teachers to first catch some fire on that, “Yes, this is my responsibility to every week have a new emotion word.”

[Participant 4] Yeah, I mean, I think that is a part of school that we’ve kind of lost in the last 30 years. So I really love to focus on the early years, if you’re going to talk about it systemically. The only way to get there, I think, is by really focusing on social and emotional learning in the early grades, so that the kids can learn to get along. And I think we put them in situations that are so outside their developmental norms, that sometimes that causes more aggression than it takes away. So really, can we expect a five year old to sit all day long and not get frustrated and not have fits and not hit and not do those sorts of things when developmentally we’re asking them to do things that are inappropriate? So taking away that time of play, which was really when they were learning to socialize, I think that we’ve kind of within our… Within wanting kids to be more academically ready, we have inadvertently made kids pretty anxious and frustrated and more aggressive.

Related to teacher participation, the interviewees talked about moments where teachers could benefit from using and modeling coping strategies with students when they feel dysregulated. Doing so would reinforce taught skills and promote empathy:

[Participant 2] And depending on the grade. Eighth grade did phenomenal, to the point where the students could recognize in the teacher and say, “Hey, are you out of your zone? Do you need to do some breathing right now.” Which was awesome.

[Participant 4] But there’s a difference between teaching it and making them feel that way. …Even adults can only and be pushed so far before they lose it. It’s the same with kids. We can teach them all these coping skills, but we also have to, at some point, look at what they’re developmentally able to do and handle, and then not push them so hard that they need to use these skills all the time. You need to use these skills when you need it, not, “I’m going to have to learn to deal with my anxiety every day, while I’m at school.”

Both interviewees reflected on their progress made in this area and felt as though they still had a long way to go:

[Participant 2] We’re going to get a guidance counselor. So there will be at least two [people] who can go in and help teach those classes on how big is the emotion? What is it that causes that emotion? But I don’t know that we’ve done an awesome job.

[Participant 4] Okay. So I guess maybe we’re not doing the greatest job of teaching them healthy ways to express emotion, and do you see anything- I see that we’re teaching it a lot.

Norms Intolerant of IPV & Dating Violence

Causes of IPV & Dating Violence

Interviewees had differing perspectives related to the causes of IPV and dating violence. They described complex scenarios and identified themes related to gender, previous exposure to violence, social pressures, mental health, and perpetrator motivation:

[Participant 1] There’s a million things that can cause it, a million things. Insecurity in both people, one or the other, or both, self-esteem, drugs or alcohol, their cultural beliefs, their societal, their family beliefs, tolerance, society not being willing to step in when they see it’s not my business, “I didn’t see that. I’m just going to go about my business and not worry about it. Not my problem.” There’s just so much that can cause intimate partner violence. Monetary issues, their financial status. Sometimes if one partner is the regular victim and they don’t have the fiscal ability to get out. They know they should, but they don’t have the ability to get out. Not an excuse though because we sure have a lot of resources for them to get out now.

[Participant 2] …I think that boys in our society are taught that this is what a man is… It’s a conflict. And if you are not manly enough or strong enough, then you’re looked down upon. And then look down upon means that you are gay or weak. And so then in order to defend myself, I am going to get back at you. …I know girls are also violent. And I think again, I would argue it goes to them having the mindset of what boys are supposed to be. And if you’re not, then I can be aggressive towards you. Then it also goes back to like, what was your life experience? Did you witness domestic violence? And how is that playing into your skewed sense of what relationships are?

[Participant 3] …in relationships, I think that’s where you end up with a lot of the early onset of IPV is not necessarily understanding the impact that your actions have. Those actions not being corrected and then just basically starting habits and trends of behavior.

[Participant 4] I think that the thing that causes it is …power and control and just having control of that relationship and having control over somebody else is really important, either from a girl’s or a boy’s side. So I just feel like, again, it’s just that trying to feel like you have control over something in your life.

[Participant 5] I think it is a lack of respect and boundaries, I guess, between the perpetrator and the victim. I think that’s part of it. In my previous experience, I think it could be made worse through financial concerns, not necessarily K through 12, but in adults or I guess more so in employee on employee, even though I haven’t seen it. I think financial considerations play a part in it as well. I think lack of respect and boundaries also plays a big part in it.

Cultural/Community Factors

Expanding on their statements above, interviewees talked about societal and cultural influences that contribute to violent behaviors. Three interviewees talked about how exposure to IPV and dating violence through outside sources such as real-life observations or media representations shape and influence attitudes, beliefs, and learned associations on a subconscious level. They point out that harmful behaviors that are normalized are harder to identify and register as red flags so that necessary and immediate actions can be taken:

[Participant 1] It’s how kids were raised. They saw abuse in their family. Their parents, a parent was being abused and they think that’s just a normal relationship. …Culture and society plays a big role in how they feel about tolerance of abuse or being the abuser.

[Participant 3] And then if you add, you know, the media in a way that behavior is displayed in the media without any true repercussions occurring, oftentimes, that is just almost like the icing on the cake per se, just encourages already bad behavior.

[Participant 5] I think definitely those implicit biases impact IPV and dating violence, upbringing, media, things that people are ingesting from other outside sources. I think ultimately those things impact implicit bias, your biases and those things come out, particularly in interpersonal violence and domestic violence situations. I think they play heavily in those situations. …I think movies and TV shows can impact a person’s understanding of roles and relationships, and they can internalize that and either think that certain behaviors are not red flags because they don’t recognize them. I think that those series of behaviors can then lead to those violent situations. Either as a victim, you’re not recognizing that you’re in a bad situation or as a perpetrator you’re not recognizing that you have these violent tendencies or actions that you need to control before it’s too late.

One interviewee talked about how harmful actions such as hitting do not happen in isolation but are influenced by multiple factors:

[Participant 2] So I think that it’s bigger than just this kid got upset and hit somebody. …there are individual incidents [that] don’t happen on their own, that there are other components at play.

Two interviewees expressed that people need to be explicitly taught how to have healthy relationships with one another instead of assuming it has been modeled for them:

[Participant 2] I think that we assume people just know how to be in relationships with one another. And so again, what is being modeled to them because we know it’s not necessarily ever being taught.

[Participant 3] The allowance of traditional norms to continue to play out in society without addressing any of the behaviors early on. The lack of truly educating youth about appropriate behavior, and allowing the vicious, oftentimes generational cycles of behavior to continue.

One interviewee went on to express that if a person is aware that their actions are violent, they are easier to be held accountable to them, reducing the probability of escalation:

[Participant 3] …and clearly the individual has to be accountable for their actions. But as I mentioned earlier, like sometimes habits are set into place where they’re not even fully aware of how harmful their actions are until sometimes it’s too late. Now, should they have greater, you know, self awareness? Sure. But where exactly does that come from? … more than accountability, but modeling of good behavior. So we need to be more proactive instead of just reactive.

The interviewee raised concerns about underreporting due to recent changes to Title IX regulations. Changes to the federal Title IX law (effective August 2020) included a more limited definition of sexual harassment, requiring victims to confront their perpetrators, giving institutions more autonomy in determining the amount of proof necessary to support a sexual assault claim, and relaxing the rules on who must report cases of sexual violence:

[Participant 3] The lack of ability for victims to step forward and know without a doubt that they’re going to receive the support that they deserve. It’s unfortunate when you think of the recent changes made to Title IX … I think those changes, I don’t know if they deliberately were made to silence victims again, but I think the outcome is going to absolutely lead to greater silencing of victims just when victims started to feel more comfortable stepping forward. All of those are basically just creating a perfect storm for IPV to be as prevalent as it is in society.

Another interviewee talked about the normalization of power and control within certain social groups based on identities such as gender or economic status. In a later response, they called it “entitlement”:

[Participant 4] I think there’s a lot of power in group settings. So I think that there’s a lot of power in people thinking that they can get away with it because they’re part of a team, or because they belong to this group, or they’re really wealthy. I think that there’s definitely …a control factor in that, “I’m better than you and I’m always going to be better than you.”

They also noted that power and control can be normalized if the person demonstrating the violent behavior has also had a traumatic experience:

[Participant 4] But then I think that there’s also some violence in dating that is from trauma. So not so much entitlement, but more from, “This has happened to me. So it’s going to happen to you.” I think there’s definitely a difference. I think there’s an entitlement and that feeling of control and then that feeling of trying to get control because this has happened to me.

The interviewee shared a story about someone they knew who normalized their son’s display of entitlement in their relationship by laughing about it:

[Participant 4] I have a friend who…has a son he was cheating on the girlfriend and the mom said, “Why don’t you break up with her?” And he said, “Who would do my homework?” And his mom thought that was just so funny. And I was like, “How do you think that’s funny?” It’s not funny. …Yeah, that entitlement just drives me crazy. …And why, as you as someone who I’ve always respected as a parent, think that that’s hysterical? That’s not funny.

Who is to Blame?

Across interviews, participants made it clear that victims are not to blame for IPV or dating violence. To that effect, three interviewees believed the violator or perpetrator is to blame but two of those interviewees still noted that blame is more nuanced than that:

[Participant 1] The violator. …The victim is never to blame. … But yeah, no, it’s the violator. The abuser is to blame.

[Participant 4] So I mean there’s a lot of layers of blame, so. But I would say, always, the blame needs to lie with the perpetrator, not with the victim at all.

[Participant 5] Who’s to blame? Ultimately, I guess, it’s the person that’s been accused of the incident. I think those situations are more nuanced than that.

Two interviewees pointed out that aggression is a learned behavior that can occur in the home, in the media, and/or in social settings. In addition to promoting perpetrator accountability, they believe adults and peers modeling aggressive behavior over time are also to blame:

[Participant 3] Well, clearly the individual has to have a degree of self-responsibility or personal responsibility for their actions. But if you take it further and try to understand why that person acts in the way that they do, are they modeling what they saw happening in their homes? Are they modeling what they saw happening via the media? Are they modeling what they’ve been encouraged to model by their peers? So first and foremost, holding the individual responsible, but then taking the time to determine exactly why the individual acts in that way and then holding those agents of socialization responsible as well.

[Participant 4] But I also think that there’s some culpability when it starts with young kids, there’s definitely some role modeling going on there… A 12 year old doing and saying things that are inappropriate or getting aggressive, lots of times are learned behaviors. So I think there’s some blame to be had with adults that have raised those kids.

Similarly, another interviewee talked about societal influences that shape worldviews. They discuss the erosion of relationships due to not enough adults supporting young people with conflict management. They went on to describe potential scenarios that impact worldview. Ultimately, they believe it takes a village to help children process what they are experiencing to know what is and isn’t abuse:

[Participant 2] So who’s to blame for the boy that beats up the girl or vice versa? Society. I think it comes down to the adults in that kid’s world. …I think we don’t teach [kids] how to be in a relationship period, whether it’s intimate or just a friendship. We don’t teach kids how to have conflict. And conflict is not a bad thing. And there’s way more gray than there is black and white. [Later in the interview] And so again, what am I watching? What am I seeing? What have I experienced in my own life? So I think it very much is an individual situation that I don’t know, did this boy watch his father beat his mom up and [say] that women are crap, and that’s how I know that’s my worldview, and so therefore I’m in the right, or vice versa? Did I watch my father beating my mom up and I’m not ever going to hit a girl, and if a girl hits me, then that’s okay because men are horrible. So I mean, I think so much of it is in the worldview, and we don’t talk about it or teach it. We just expect that they’re going to know it from what they’re seeing, and we expect it to be seen by their parents. And that’s a lot to take on because it takes the whole village, not just the two people or one person that you see in your life.

Solutions for IPV & Dating Violence

Emphasizing the value in training and awareness, all interviewees mentioned educational programming as a vital component to stop IPV and dating violence:

Three interviewees talked about teaching children skills at an early age to solve problems nonviolently and have healthy relationships:

[Participant 2] …[teach] in kindergarten that there’s no tattle-telling, that you have to go to the peace corner and work it out, but that we’ve taught you how to do it in a nonviolent, communicative way so that by the second semester, instead of coming up and telling me that Johnny stole my pencil, you’re saying, “Johnny took my pencil and we went to the peace corner and figured out how to solve this problem.” …But I think you need to be having the conversation in kindergarten on about sexual orientation, different types of gender, different types of family. What does that all look like and how does that play out in relationships that you will have regardless if they are intimate or it’s a friendship or it’s the person you have to do a work project with to turn in at the end of the semester. Again, we never have these conversations. We partner kids up, we make them do all this work together, we expect them to go play together, but we’ve never ever taught them how to do it, and what you do when a conflict comes up and you disagree. So I fully put it on the adults that we just put them out there and say, “They’re going to turn out alright. We did.”

[Participant 4] I think it goes back to teaching early behaviors and the awareness of it. That’s one reason that I really like both of those programs that talk about not just the problem of it, but the solutions, and then also there’s some self-esteem pieces. Because I think in dating violence and in any violence in a relationship there’s definitely some, with the victim and the perpetrator, there’s some esteem issues that need to be worked out. So working on those when kids are younger, I think is helpful.

[Participant 5] I think training and awareness for sure. Training and awareness to recognize when you’re in one of these situations where it could lead to interpersonal violence or dating violence to get yourself out before it progresses. Or if you’re a perpetrator, get yourself some help before it progresses. Also training to make sure that if you are in one of those situations, you can realize that you are in one of those and you can reach out for resources and help when needed in those are two [of the] biggest pieces. There could be a number of solutions. If they work, who knows. I’ll continue along the line of building the knowledge base, building a knowledge base of the person’s involved, whether you’re a perpetrator or whether you’re a victim. If we build the knowledge base up to get individuals to understand and identify these red flag or patterns before they are too severe to seek help, then I think that can definitely limit or reduce or completely eliminate any type of IPV or domestic violence.

One interviewee shared that parent education is vital because parents, while having a lot of influence, often overlook signs of abuse and dating violence. By not taking a more active approach, they miss opportunities to respond. The interviewee suggests this is not only due to lack of awareness, but fear of relationship strain:

[Participant 4] I think parent awareness is number one. I think that parents miss the signs a lot. I think the parents miss the signs of the aggressor, being aggressive. And I think they miss the signs of the victim really being caught up in the relationship and kind of stepping in. I know that a lot of parents hesitate to step in, in dating violence because….Or in situations where the relationship has gotten maybe a little volatile and really has taken over the lives of the kids, because they’re always afraid they’re going to push them away. Like, “If I get involved then she’s just not going to listen to me and she’s going to do this,” but I think there’s a point at which… They’re children, at 14 to 18 and that there still needs to be guidance.

The interviewee later shared a personal reflection about factors that have limited their influence when teaching children about IPV. They shared that it can be challenging to teach students coping strategies when they are actively experiencing abuse at home. They suggest taking a posture of compassion and curiosity to help them identify the source of their trauma and manage their responses:

[Participant 4] But again I think that, again, it goes back to parents. I, at one point, thought that I had a lot of control over what I taught my students and I think I do still have some influence, but when you’re in an abusive household, I think that is hard to overcome with education. I think you do sometimes, and sometimes you don’t. Because I think it’s more of a fight or flight reflex at that point because you’re not…teaching the skills to deal with it [to] overcome that emotional adrenaline. …So I think that that’s a really tough thing for kids to overcome. [As quoted in the Accountability Challenges section] I think that lots of times we lack the compassion to sit and try to work through things like that with kids so that they can learn to manage those emotions. And it’s just easier to deal with the consequences than actually do the real work of figuring out why they’re showing these behaviors.

Another interviewee talked about the importance of hosting interactive workshops with families and parents so that they can identify generational patterns and work towards breaking the cycle:

[Participant 3] …doing more interactive workshops with families and parents because at some point in time have to get in there and like break the cycle because it is so incredibly generational.

The same interviewee gave suggestions on cultural systemic shifts they would like to see as it relates to solving IPV and dating violence. In their response, they bring attention to the role of media and its impact on public opinion, while also addressing the need for more public support for victims and greater accountability measures and prosecutions for perpetrators:

[Participant 3] Modeling appropriate behavior, changing the way that IPV is displayed via media, Being significantly and profoundly more supportive to victims, like at any point anyone that is even experienced [IPV]…should be able to comfortably come forward and have their voice heard and know that they’re supported and know that that is how they’re going to stop that incidence… Holding people accountable for their behavior. That’s just something that I see happen or hear my students say quite a bit when we journal about this in our…class. …There needs to be greater prosecution. There needs to be, you know, a sentencing that occurs so that people know that this is behavior that they are going to have to face repercussions for. And this is coming from them. And I just don’t think that we’re quite there yet. So basically a whole entire cultural systematic change needs to occur. And as overwhelming as that may seem, you know, it’s all a small drop in the bucket. Like, could we start working on, you know, one piece here and one piece there, then eventually we can make improvements. I definitely think we’re doing that. …That’s what I try to do, you know, in my classes when I have these conversations, but I don’t think that it’s as system-wide as it should be at this point in time. We are itty bitty fish swimming amongst a bunch of sharks, I feel like.

Resources & Capacity to Implement Bring in the Bystander

Barriers/Challenges with Bring in the Bystander

Interviewees described different barriers and challenges they have faced with implementing Bringing in the Bystander programming. One interviewee mentioned scheduling challenges but later remarked that it wasn’t a big issue and it has already been addressed:

[Participant 1] Just a little bit of scheduling challenges. Not really. Has that really been a challenge? I haven’t really faced any challenges. We already talked about it, but no real challenges.

Two interviewees discussed challenges they were facing because programming is not yet a priority at their school:

[Participant 3] I just, I don’t think it’s necessarily a priority on campus, even though it should be a priority. …There being one, possibly two events more like either like round table events or like possibly it wasn’t like a full blown forum per se. Like a training maybe that I remember coming across my email and I’d wanted to attend, but it was when I had a class and I couldn’t attend. But there have been very few publicized opportunities to participate in Bringing in the Bystander.

[Participant 4] I think that the barrier is that nobody was focused on it enough and I’m afraid of what the drawbacks are going to be from that.

One interviewee shared that they would like to see a designated person coordinating the planning, implementation, and advertising of the programming. They felt having such a person was key to fulfilling their school’s grant obligation:

[Participant 3] There hasn’t been a person that has been designated by a higher up to say, this is your duty now make it happen. Everything that I ever did, I voluntarily took on with the encouragement of my [immediate supervisor] at that time. And it was all opportunities that we brought to the administration. So we were kind of a grassroots movement as opposed to it coming from the top down and now with bystander intervention and the grant and the way that you’re working. I know it’s more top down and it’s just not being disseminated like it should be. [In response to a follow up question.] I think it’s the only way it’s going to happen. …I know that most everyone is already overworked and underpaid and I’m not sure exactly who that person would even be, and that may be the reason why they haven’t moved on it, but that’s still no reason to not move on it. Cause I know that they have an obligation to fulfill their end of the grant. It’s just exactly how are they going to make that happen better than what has occurred previously.

Two interviewees shared concerns about parent pushback. Historically, parent concerns over content have made it hard to implement the curriculum with fidelity:

[Participant 4] So I don’t know if there’s going to be pushback from parents, like, “Whoa, whoa, whoa. We didn’t know this was coming.” When they did know it was coming, it’s just been so overwhelming for everybody. So I’m hoping that the barriers we faced with timing aren’t going to create more problems down the line. …I mean, we have put out emails and letters and so I think that…it’ll be fine. The thing is, when one parent gets upset and voices their opinion at a board meeting, it’s just like any other program. Then it will become a problem for a little bit and then it will go away. …I mean, we just had parents complaining about…gender norms. And so I think that where we will run into problems with this curriculum is in the gender norms of the program. …It’s a new hot item with parents. They don’t want to hear about it. My boy is a boy, my girl is a girl, period.

[Participant 5] Not a ton, but still some…Parent pushback about the type…of content that’s being addressed. Just not comfortable with the matter, but not as much as in I would say in the shifting boundaries program because it’s an older population.

Support/Buy-in for Bring in the Bystander

Across school sites, interviewees had different levels of support and buy-in for the Bring in the Bystander program. Two interviewees compare the support for Bring in the Bystander with another prevention program, Shifting Boundaries. Interviewees with support from high-level leadership positions were more likely to express higher rates of support:

[Participant 1] 100%. No pushback, no like, “Oh my God, another thing we got.” No. 100%. “Schedule it, just let me know when they’re coming in.” Yeah, 100%. And I think that’s the case in our traditional high schools as well. [In response to a follow-up question.] [The superintendent is] supportive of it and it came all the way down, and of course, with [leadership of the] Title IX committee, and the Title IX committee’s support, and the board of ed’s support. The top down, yes, supportive.

[Participant 3] On a scale of one to 10, maybe six? It wasn’t always that way. We’ve had a complete shift in administration since I started with my programming back in 2009. …We had, you know, a different executive team altogether. And at that point in time we had individuals that we knew without a doubt supported the programming and that they would battle for us when the battles needed to occur. But around the time that I stopped doing my programming the same people were being let go or forced out, and it just became obvious that I didn’t necessarily have the backbone anymore than I needed to continue with the programming.

[Participant 4] I feel like we have less than we had for Shifting Boundaries, and I think it has 100% to do with COVID. I think that just implementing a new program right now is difficult because everybody’s so focused on how are we serving kids and getting them their basic academics. But I feel like we have great support from county commissioners and the principals and that sort of thing. I think that it’s probably not as well known exactly what it is because of COVID. I mean, we’re just trying to make kids come to school.

[Participant 5] [We have] the same level of support that we have for Shifting Boundaries. Maybe even more support cause we’re dealing with older student population.

One participant shared a story of a time when another administrator recognized their challenges and positioned themselves as a resource, advocate, and staunch supporter of Bringing in the Bystander programming to ensure that students had access to it alongside other related opportunities:

[Participant 3] [Another administrator] came to me and asked me if she could be of assistance and basically just put me under her umbrella, she, she’s still willing to fight the hard fights. And so, you know, twice a year, we host information events…once in April, for sexual assault month and once in October for IPV awareness. It’s not as informative overall, cause we’re not having the forums. It’s not as visual as it once was, but at least it’s something and I very much give her credit for stepping forward and saying, I’ve got your back if you want to continue at least try to get the information out to the students. And that’s not to say that somebody else wouldn’t have my back, she’s just been the one that came directly forward about it.

Different Ways Bring in the Bystander Could be Supported

One interviewee shared they feel trusted to coordinate the implementation of Bringing in the Bystander programming. Pleased with the support, they could not think of additional ways they wish to be supported:

[Participant 1] From my personal experience, I don’t think they could be more supportive, that they could change anything… They put it in my hands and said, “I trust in you that you’ll get this done with our kids.”

Two interviewees expressed a desire for more interest in programming. One interviewee reflected on the role new leadership should play in reinvesting staff and making it a priority across departments:

[Participant 3] Now is that to say that the current [administrator] wouldn’t be supportive? I think that, you know, she’s getting to a place now where she’s more comfortable and she would, but I don’t know how much of a fight she could even fight if she’d had to go upward. So therefore, people that were doing more, it shouldn’t even be that controversial, right? But it seemed to be more controversial programming on campus. Most everybody that I know of has like stepped back and just like putting their heads down and doing our jobs because we don’t necessarily feel as if we have the support that we need to continue doing anything controversial. It’s interesting. They’re trying to encourage us, like, “No, it’s safe. Come out. We’ve got you.” But there’s still a lot of reluctancy to do so because you know, that hasn’t been proven. And unfortunately the administration didn’t pick up the ball either. Like a lot of what I was doing, I really shouldn’t have ever been doing. It should have been coming directly out of [another office]. And the idea was that once I stepped out, the programming would be coming out of [that department] and it just, it hasn’t happened. I know that they are short staffed. I know that generally the counselors are incredibly overburdened. But you know, the, the [school] could make it a priority and make it part of somebody’s position. It just hasn’t happened yet, and I’m not sure if, and when it will.

As detailed in the Impacts of the COVID-19 Pandemic section, the other interviewee described a lack of interest in Title IX as a topic since schools were required to focus on COVID-19. They caution that the deprioritization of Title IX will have a devastating impact because the problems the school faced prior to the pandemic have not gone away and still need to be addressed:

Another interviewee talked about anticipating parent questions and concerns by creating opportunities where parents get answers as well as pertinent information to establish trust with programming:

[Participant 5] I think continued reach out to the parents to try to get in front of the parents that might have questions or concerns and try to alleviate those questions or concerns to put parents in a position before they want their children to participate.

Resources Provided

Three interviewees described resources provided that support them with the implementation of Bringing the Bystander programming. They mentioned resources in the form of hiring and supporting the right people for the job, scheduling and space accommodations, training, and monetary support:

[Participant 1] …I am the resource that is called upon to implement this. So I basically go to [administrative leadership], and [say] “Hey, when it was rolled out, this is what we’re going to be doing in health class. This is a directive coming from the top down. And it’s this long, and it goes through the health classes, usually the ninth-grade health classes. And you okay if I schedule it in?” [Administrative response is] “Yeah, work with it. …Do it.” So 100% buy-in that way. I know that some of our traditional high schools, it took them a little bit longer to get on board because of fear by the teachers to be teaching this and… Or not teaching this, but having the students here fear of the unknown, maybe. Or, “Oh my God, another thing we have to do.” But I have received full support. And the resources are, “Go for it,… Do whatever you got to do to get them in there.”

[Participant 4] So it was really the county commissioners that pushed for it, which I think is great. I think when the school leadership didn’t step up and say, “This is what we are going to do,” that they stepped in and said to people like me, “What do you need to educate these kids?” So I feel like that ongoing budget is just such a huge commitment from the county… We’re just going head on into this problem. And there’s not a lot of people talking about dating violence and about intimate partner violence. And I think it’s going to be eye opening, but I think that it’s something that everybody knows we need because we’ve been doing a really bad job talking about it. …So the leadership has come a lot from the county too. …And I think it’s because the school system didn’t have any money and didn’t know what to do because we didn’t have any money. So I think that when they said, “What do you need?” And we said money and they gave it to us, I think that was a big… Allowed the leadership of the county to say for, or the school system to say, “Yes, we can do this because what we needed were the funds.” …You can’t ask us to change curriculums and things without money. And you can’t expect non-trained people to teach that kind of curriculum if you want it done correctly.

[Participant 5] …money, financial, physical support, personnel spaces.

Resources & Capacity to Implement Shifting Boundaries

Barriers/Challenges with Shifting Boundaries

Interviewees described different barriers and challenges they have faced with implementing the Shifting Boundaries programming. One interviewee shared that, although it is connected to a mandatory program, the lack of designated training days makes it a challenge to train teachers. Unfortunately, they have experienced low attendance since participants cannot be forced to attend the training on a day when they aren’t required to come in. As a result, the participant does their best to accommodate the scheduling restrictions and provide relevant and interesting topics to encourage discourse and inclusivity:

[Participant 2] The hard thing about our calendar this year is we do not have a ton of designated days, we have three and then we have a bunch of undesignated days. But I think we’re mandated because the state is saying you have to do the six hours of mental health training, that is mental health 101, suicide prevention. We have to do a child abuse prevention one. I don’t know if you know the age range, but there is a teen dating violence training that is required but I don’t know at what age range they’re mandating that to happen. So I need to look into that because if it’s middle school, then you have it…[we have] to bring you in. [In a later response] …this is what I’ve been met with every year is if it’s undesignated day, I can’t force them to come. So if they don’t want to get paid that day, I can’t make them come. [I say]…Just come and let’s do a circle and talk about how you’re managing the trauma that your little people or middle schoolers are bringing into this building just based on the world we live in, so that you’re not taking that home with you every day. …and [another] part of it can then be, how are you implementing [controversial content]… your students are now going to learn about the many different gender roles or self expression. How are you going to manage that when it goes against every single thing that you believe. Because I think it’s fine, talk about it, but turn it off and be accepting because you’re only on this planet for this amount of time, please just be nice.

This interviewee went on to express how lack of training and involvement from school personnel created additional challenges because programming is happening in a vacuum. Because of this, teachers and administration are not able to understand and continue reinforcing concepts learned in the program with students throughout the day:

[Participant 2] How do we keep the momentum going and allowing teachers the ability and time to learn these new skills that we then want them to teach other little people? And so that’s my worry with all of these things if we’re doing Shifting Boundaries….if admin never walks into a classroom to learn about it, or if their core teachers are never there to hear about it.

This interviewee also talked about the lack of participation from parents. Over the course of the semester, they expected more parent backlash and were surprised not to have heard any concerns from the larger parent body. They later mentioned that this is due to the program not being as in-depth as other programs:

[Participant 2] But we hosted a whole parent night…which four people showed up and we put out a bunch of parent resources and [shared] what we’re teaching… and had a whole question and answer thing for them. …And to be honest, we were waiting all semester long just to get that backlash to hear from some parents that they were not happy about something and they didn’t get anything. [In response to a question about family engagement] Not usually with Shifting Boundaries because it’s not as in depth, now if we started to do some of those other conversations we probably would [engage families].

Similarly, another interviewee discussed how their school promotes transparency with families in order to address concerns early and build trust. They believe parents understand the importance of Title IX-related programming because of recent school-related events that have been featured in the news:

[Participant 4] So that, surprisingly little pushback at all. I think one reason is you guys do a really good job of explaining to parents what it is before you do it. I think when we surprise parents like, “Surprise, here’s what we’re teaching this week,” that sometimes that overwhelms parents. So I think as far as barriers, we’ve really kind of worked around a lot of those barriers by just being open and transparent and honest with parents. …Of course, the huge amount of sexual abuse that went on in the school system and has made it to the papers I think has also opened parents’ mind to be like, “Yeah, I really want my child to hear about this and feel safe at school.”

One participant stated that their biggest issue is lack of parental consent due to issues with the content:

[Participant 5] …parents not giving consent to involvement. I think that’s the biggest issue. Also, I think there could be some issue regarding the content, but that I think goes back to the parent consent for their students. Generally, that’s the biggest problem I think we’ve seen so far.

Another interviewee shared their thoughts on why parents don’t consent to their children participating in Shifting Boundaries programming. They believe it is largely due to discomfort with someone outside of the home discussing topics such as sexual violence and harrassment. They also alluded to challenges with teaching topics considered controversial in a “Bible Belt state”:

[Participant 4] I think parents are uncomfortable with discussions with their children about those type of things, they’re uncomfortable subjects. I think parents don’t want a school system or a stranger. Parents don’t want their children to participate, don’t want their school systems teaching them about some of these things. But at the same time, parents don’t want to do it either. Also, sometimes people have religious beliefs I think that impact what they want to share with their children particularly living in the Bible Belt state.

Support/Buy-in for Shifting Boundaries

Overall, three interviewees expressed feeling supported and having buy-in for the Shifting Boundaries curriculum.

[Participant 2] I’ve got a teacher who’s willing to take it on as part of her class.

[Participant 4] I would say that we not only have the support, it’s the expectation. So I say a 100%.

[Participant 5] A hundred percent at this point. I think if we ask we’ll get it. I take it back, 90% because there’s always politics on board. I’d say 90%.

Similar to their response in the previous section, one interviewee restated challenges due to scheduling but ended their statement expressing that they felt supported:

[Participant 2] Again, I think we missed the accountability of core teachers because that’s their planning period. They won’t be a part of it, I think they need to be. …Very supportive.

They believe program support is increasing because teachers are seeing gradual changes in student behavior, especially when paired with restorative processes:

[Participant 2] I think that it’s a slow push but I think that they’re seeing the changes that are happening with the restorative room. Seeing teachers actually take on the role of doing the morning meetings.

Different Ways SB Could be Supported

When discussing ways the Shifting Boundaries program could be supported, one interviewee shared that conversations need to happen at a board level, involving personnel who are responsible for supporting programming and ultimately the experiences of school staff, students, and families:

[Participant 4] Yeah, I think now we’re having a huge transition in our schools right now. And I know we talked about it a little bit at the board meeting last month. …but I feel like…the new superintendent and board probably needs to hear more about what went on in the last couple years so that they will continue to support these programs and understand why they’re so important. [In a later response] I think if you weren’t in the midst of all that drama and trauma, as we call it, trauma and drama, then you don’t understand why it’s such a big deal. But if you were here during the times that there were just a lot of really hurt parents and kids and staff members, I think that we need to make sure people understand why we’re doing it so that they will continue to support it.

Related to parent support, one interviewee equated strong parent involvement to a better school climate where students are informed and supported:

[Participant 5] I think it could get more parents more understanding to what’s in the program, why we’re trying to do it and why it’s helpful for their children I think would help answer those why questions for the parents, which in turn would help them decide to allow participation for their students, and that helps students get the information and helps build better citizens and students here. [In response to a similar question.] We do a good job reaching parents to let them know what’s involved, but I think more of an approach of trying to get to parents that are on the fence about participating. If we could have more opportunities to engage with them, that might get us a few more students involved in the program.

The interviewee also expressed that additional funding could be helpful.

Resources Provided

Two interviewees reflected on different resources provided in order to implement the Shifting Boundaries curriculum. One interviewee highlights building access as a resource and the other interviewee talks about the value of training.

[Participant 2] The MOU to let you in the building. …I don’t know if anything else has been requested.

[Participant 4] So what have we provided? You guys did all the work, I feel bad. I guess we just provided the collaboration and the consultation to be able to get it into all the schools. But I mean, as far as all the hard work, [Domestic Violence Shelter and Services, Inc. (DVSS) and Coastal Horizons Rape Crisis Center] did all the hard work training everybody. I think it was just us opening our eyes to the fact that it was needed.

Impact of Programming

Two interviewees providing school-based intervention through Shifting Boundaries and/or Bringing in the Bystander programming witnessed a trend in students immediately interrupting and addressing harmful peer behavior after engaging in conversations about sexual education and sexual harassment. Students are using phrases and terms taught in class and are demonstrating an understanding of consent and consequences while holding their peers accountable for their actions and encouraging healthy relationship habits:

[Participant 1] Sometimes people stay in relationships because they’re not aware that all they have to do is reach out for help and the cavalry will come running, practically. But that’s changing in our schools too with the students. The students know what can and should be… I hear them more and more saying, “That’s not cool. You can’t talk to him or her like that,” your partner, dating partner. [In response to a similar question] When I would be passing in the halls with these middle school kids, I would hear the kids saying, ‘That’s not okay. That’s sexual harassment. Don’t touch me.” And so they’re putting it into action and in the right way, kind of like over the top.

[Participant 4] I think you see more of it now than you did before. …I think that we’ve been better at teaching kids ways like the Bystander stuff of intervening. I think kids are better at going, “Hey, you shouldn’t do that, because you’re going to get in trouble.” You know what I mean? It’s not so much giving them two different ways to intervene that don’t make them seem like they’re going to become the next target. …So I think kids know about it more and will hold each other accountable more, yes, definitely. I think especially for our transgender students also, sticking up for them more and those sorts of things, so.

One interviewee noticed a positive change in teacher behavior, as detailed in the Support/Buy-in for Shifting Boundaries section. Teachers are showing an investment in programming after observing incremental changes in students’ conduct, particularly when combined with restorative practices:

As expanded on in the Solutions for IPV and Dating Violence section above, one respondent discussed the advantages of students having access to programs that teach them not just how to recognize problematic behaviors but also how to deal with them:

Conclusions and Recommendations

The conclusions and recommendations described below are centered on the experiences of five participants working across schools and campuses in the Wilmington community. These interviewees provided rich information and insight into how they view the actions and climate of their schools as related to the risk and protective factors that make intimate partner violence (IPV) more or less likely to occur.

Promoting Gender Inclusivity and Empathy

Risk and protective factors as outlined by the CDC are contributing factors that increase the likelihood (risk factors) or decrease the likelihood (protective factors) that IPV will occur. Research around identified risk and protective factors indicates that schools promoting inclusivity and empathy not only provide a better quality experience for all students but are instrumental in changing discriminatory beliefs and attitudes that contribute to health inequities and create environments where intimate partner violence is more likely to occur. Participants emphasized the critical role schools play in giving context for and modeling how children relate to individuals outside of their families while resembling as closely as possible the world outside of school walls.

Participants spoke about how long-standing, conventional, or limited perceptions of gender, gender identity, gender expression, and sexuality have made it difficult to create safe and welcoming environments for all students, especially those who possess multiple historically marginalized identities. Participants were specifically asked to examine gender as a risk factor for IPV, sexual harassment, and dating violence. They mentioned how polarizing and politicized perspectives from community members have negatively impacted the student experience. Although perceptions of gender are always changing, in schools gender is frequently perceived as a binary notion with two fixed identities: male or female. This binary viewpoint does not adequately account for gender complexity. The interviewees’ notions of gender serve as an illustration of this. Most either stated that gender was a social construct and was therefore irrelevant or they had difficulty defining it. The respondents continued to discuss students in subsequent parts of the interview through a binary lens, as is typical in their environments. Interviewees also focused on binary genders and biological connections when discussing connections between gender and aggression.

While traditional gender norms are still prevalent in schools, they are beginning to be dismantled or challenged by students desiring equal access to resources and opportunities; school staff advocating for better training, programming, and policy reform; as well as federal Title IX mandates. Gender expressions, which are mostly shown through outward appearance, are more acceptable and fluid than in the past. However, there is still more acceptance of non-stereotypical gender expression for students who identify as female compared to students who identify as transgender, nonbinary, or gender-nonconforming. Discussed as gender stereotypes, interviewees observed variations in the treatment of students depending on how rigid or flexible a teacher’s understanding of gender was. The most prevalent instances of this problem are in school disciplinary records, athletics, and restroom and locker room usage. Some examples of how gender stereotypes come into play are:

Frequent usage of expressions like “boys will be boys,” which indicates that boys are innately predisposed to violence and roughhousing and should thus be exempt from consequences
Bullying and harassment toward students who identify outside of the binary
Students who identify as male were more likely to be assigned in-school or out-of-school suspensions or are more likely to be addressed for exhibiting aggressive behaviors compared to students who identify as female
Students who identify as female are more likely to report sexual harassment compared to other identities^[6]
Commentary on athletic ability based on gender (ex. “You throw like a girl”)

Participants mostly felt that gender stereotypes in regard to school personnel are for the most part no longer reflected in the schools. Some participants spoke to schools and school systems still being largely made up of female teachers without noting how that plays into a long-held stereotype about the profession. Across three interviews, male educators were mentioned to be more likely than female educators to engage in inappropriate behavior toward staff members and students. Although such instances occur less frequently now than they did in the past, a participant made the observation that male staff members’ actions are more visible and public than those of female teachers. In a more positive reflection regarding academic achievement, interviewees perceive that the achievement gap between self-identifying male and female students is closing.

Title IX compliance measures have required that schools update their policies, provide training for staff and students, and investigate all discriminatory issues. Interviewees reflected that this was an area of progress even though there were noticeable areas for further improvement. The interviewees shared that, from their view, teachers’ treatment of students who identify outside of the gender binary varies but often reflects the requirements under Title IX policies and the position of the school administration. A few interviewees did note, however, that the sincerity with which teachers and school staff act within the policies impacts students’ feelings of acceptance. At large, conversations about gender and sexuality are still considered controversial. Participants identified obstacles to growth as pushback and inaction from parents and colleagues.

Recommendations include:

Interactive and ongoing training for influential adults (i.e. parents/caregivers/guardians, teachers, administrators and school personnel) that incorporates building skills and acknowledging social and cultural values, attitudes, and beliefs that influence behavior;
Hold discussions that explore the added impact of racism on LGBTQIA+ youth of color;
Use inclusive and neutral language when discussing sexual orientation and gender identity;
Respond to incidents of bias, discrimination, and harassment immediately, consistently, and in alignment with school policy;
Track gender-related harassment incidents and outcomes that include data on transgender, non-binary, or gender non-conforming students in order to better understand how frequently these incidents happen in comparison to their cisgender peers;
Provide gender non-conforming students access to safety-promoting alternatives such as access to separate or appropriate restroom and locker room facilities; and
Examine how rigid dress codes perpetuate sexism, racism, and transphobia and have been used to reinforce discrimination against females, LGBTQIA+ youth, and youth of color. Adapt dress code policy to uphold respect for cultural expression, prohibit hate speech, and eliminate discriminatory language related to race or gender.

^[6] It was acknowledged that much of this is due to societal norms around gender which also influence the lack of disclosures by male-identifying victims.

Interpersonal Violence, Sexual Harassment, and Dating Violence Incident Response

The existence and use of systems for documenting interpersonal violence, sexual harassment, and dating violence incidents and school-wide protocols were identified across school sites. Schools are made aware of incidents orally, in writing, or through an online reporting form. School response protocols that had the greatest impact on behavior included the following components or steps:

Prioritization of safety
Investigation
Involving others
Sanctions and interventions
Community restoration

Prioritization of Safety

Across school sites, there is a strong effort to consider additional ways to support the person(s) reporting. Immediate actions involve prioritizing safety and comfort. Safety measures can include a safety plan (i.e. separating students or issuing no-contact orders) and asking the person harmed what their desired outcome is.

Investigation

This fact-gathering step occurs under the guidance of an assigned lead administrator knowledgeable of Title IX compliance, district policies, and legal protocols. Interviewees spoke to how the person filing the complaint for the most part gets a say in whether or not a full investigation occurs. Depending on the severity of the issue, who it involves, and where it occurs, administrative teams are prepared to contact law enforcement or the Department of Social Services to conduct investigations on incidents deemed outside of the school’s jurisdiction or beyond the school’s purview for a response. This includes incidents occurring off-campus and/or involving people outside of the school such as family members.

Involving Others

When a student reports an incident they are immediately connected to the school counselor. Schools may also involve law enforcement or seek out additional services and programming for the victim(s) and sometimes the perpetrator(s) as well. In many cases, schools communicate an expectation of parental involvement and support in the sanction/intervention process.

Sanctions and Interventions

The effects of interpersonal violence, sexual harassment, and dating violence are unique and cumulative, and they require that school administrative teams weigh multiple factors when determining sanctions for perpetrators. Participants mentioned the importance of taking a “case-by-case” approach to incidents, based on their specific context and history. Finding the ideal balance between dealing with problems on a “case-by-case” basis and ensuring that this doesn’t exacerbate the issue of students of color receiving harsher punishments, known nationally as the “school-to-prison pipeline,” is something that should definitely be considered. In most cases, suspension and expulsion are considered safety-promoting measures. If it is determined that the perpetrator will return, some schools require additional accountability measures such as proof of program participation, restorative meetings, parental involvement, and/or enrollment in mental health services.

Community Restoration

Participants shared different community restoration processes that they or their colleagues implement including: restoration circles, classroom debrief sessions, and student-body addresses. This step reinforces community norms and seeks to reestablish the physical and psychological safety of students.

Protocol Benefits and Challenges

Perceptions of benefits and challenges to their schools or district’s incident response protocol were similar across participants. Schools that have online reporting systems and incident documentation systems can track the progress of the report from start to finish. By inputting incidents into a password-protected database that can be accessed by all involved school personnel, the information is not only secure but is logged and stored to ensure that schools respond to each incident. It also presents opportunities for school leaders to process the data collected to inform future school-wide action steps to prevent and respond to IPV, sexual harassment, and dating violence. Challenges reported by participants included teachers not having clear guidance on how to appropriately adhere to the policies and protocols in place, specifically when students or staff are unfamiliar with or uncomfortable following the recommended next steps. Similarly, some participants reported students being unaware of the school’s policies and protocols or lacking access to the anonymous reporting form because it is not easily accessible online. The responses of the participants suggested that there was some acceptance of the possibility that students were unaware of the reporting protocols and policies in place.

Throughout the interviews, participants talked about the benefits and challenges of implementing sanctions and interventions. Many participants encouraged and celebrated sanctions and interventions that weren’t punitive, but involved opportunities for students committing harmful actions to access mental health services and similar opportunities to further process where their behavior is stemming from, learn corrective behaviors, and be given opportunities to demonstrate their learning. Challenges to implementing these types of sanctions and interventions stem from a lack of follow-through from school personnel and a lack of lasting impact.

Recommendations include:

Ensuring protocols for responding to incidents of IPV, sexual harassment, and dating violence are clearly defined and displayed in the student and staff handbook, online, and/or on a shared internal platform that staff and students can easily reference;
Implement efforts to ensure students are aware of policies and protocols and are aware of what to do and what their options are if they experience IPV, sexual harassment, or dating violence;
Because of the sensitivity and impact of such incidents, schools should provide recurring interactive training for staff so that they know when and how to respond, policy and/or legal requirements for responding, community resources, and learn best practices to check-in with students, strengthen relationships, improve classroom management policies, and create safe learning spaces for students to hone responsible decision-making and emotional skills;
Provide pathways to repair harm that include bringing individuals impacted by an issue in a dialogue to achieve a common understanding and come to an agreement about resolving the conflict and moving forward;
When creating a victim/survivor safety plan communicate the possible reality that certain requests and desires may not be honored due to a variety of factors;
Explore strategies and start conversation about the role of restorative practices in nurturing social-emotional learning and strengthening the school’s response to behavioral concerns; and
Strengthen relationships within the school community and broader community, and link students to appropriate social supports such as adult mentors, social services, child protective services, etc.

Staff Supports

In interviews, the term “burnout” was frequently used to describe educators’ dispositions. Participants described educational systems and climates with varying degrees of support, resources, training, and safety measures for school personnel. School staff are often the first responders to IPV, sexual harassment, and dating violence incidents and have a profound impact on intervention and prevention outcomes. A few interviewees made the observation that staff frequently failed to act responsibly because they were not aware of the policies and procedures of the school. The needs highlighted above, when left unmet, limit teachers’ capacity to respond to incidents immediately, appropriately, and effectively. A significant need for ongoing training and accountability measures regarding bias, incident response procedures, and staff social-emotional development was noted by many respondents.

Regarding school staff who experience IPV or sexual harassment, there is less support offered in the school and more connections to resources through Human Resources. Even with legal mechanisms in place to address such issues, an interviewee emphasized how ineffective or unfavorable IPV or sexual harassment determinations made by Human Resources discourage reporting. Most interviewees concluded that overt workplace sexual harassment has decreased over time, mostly as a result of shifts in public perception. Nonetheless, a participant did draw attention to a noticeable, more subtle trend of unsolicited sexual commentary, suggestions, and advances. A participant gave an example of how they believe their offending coworker has a rigid understanding of sexual harassment, which has prevented them from reporting the sexual harassment they are experiencing with them. The need to broaden definitions of sexual harassment to include issues of consent and boundaries was not directly addressed in participant responses, although it is important to the subject of sexual harassment and could be implied from some of their expressed concerns.

Recommendations include:

As noted in the Interpersonal Violence, Sexual Harassment, and Dating Violence Incident Response recommendations section, ensure that every staff member is aware of IPV and sexual harassment policy(ies) and the steps in place to address complaints. This can be accomplished by discussing policies with staff as soon as they are introduced, including the policies in orientation materials, and training staff members on staff and student-facing policies and protocols;
Consider and provide additional training to support staff members in the areas of classroom management, crisis response, trauma-informed practices, restorative practices, social-emotional learning, and unconscious bias, to name a few;
Incorporate systems or processes designed explicitly to respond to reports of staff sexual harassment that would likely not constitute a violation of school or district policies, or state or federal law; and
Encourage staff members to practice self-care and wellness, offer them tools to support their physical, social, mental, and emotional health, and look for additional ways to support them in addressing identified stressors connected to the environment.

Impact of Aggressive Behaviors

Across interviews, participants mentioned verbal commentary such as teasing, jokes, catcalling, and derogatory statements as the most common behaviors and stressed the importance of immediate intervention. These instances can be used as educational opportunities to hold students accountable for their actions, reestablish norms relating to positive peer relationships and school-wide expectations, and instruct co-regulating behaviors. When violent conduct, whether physical or verbal, is ignored, respondents found that it often gets worse.

The systemic power and control dynamics that exist in society are reflected in many systems including schools and influence the school environment. Participants strongly connected the environment in the classroom and at school to aggressive conduct. Teachers have historically demonstrated aggression and microaggressions to establish power and control and to bully students into behaving, according to some interviewees. These management methods still prevail today as a typical adult approach to students. This can be seen in classroom settings where students’ bodies are overly policed, robbing them of their agency and autonomy. This was demonstrated by one respondent who overheard a teacher say, “You will be quiet in my classroom. You will not move.” Teachers have also been accused of openly humiliating students as a form of punishment. Students may go on to recreate these experiences with their peers in an effort to restore their own sense of power and control. Sports settings, where violence can be rewarded or even encouraged, are another example of this. Students who are exposed to circumstances where aggression is modeled respond to pressures by engaging in aggressive behavior themselves. Many of the comments about power and control related to classroom management and disciplinary processes brought up questions and concerns for the evaluators around racial disparities and systemic racism and how those dynamics are at play. However, one limitation of this report is that the interviews did not explicitly explore the impacts of race and racism. Our recommendation for future qualitative data collection would be to include this discussion to gain a fuller picture of what is happening for students and within the school system broadly. Family and media exposure to violence are also recognized as having an impact on how violent behavior is normalized and taught. Students are typically caught between conflicting messages about aggression while negotiating challenging peer and adult relationship dynamics. The notion that “Boys will be Boys” was also discussed by participants as a factor in the acceptability of some aggressive behaviors in boys and the resistance of parents to the school’s interventions for these behaviors.

Participants agreed that culpability for IPV, sexual harassment, or dating violence should not fall on victims. They pointed to peer, family, cultural, and media influences as factors contributing to violent behavior. This fact does not remove blame from those committing harm. Instead, they offer recommendations for solutions that emphasize mental health and accountability for students and their families. A few interviewees did imply that blame was nuanced or layered or spoke specifically to victims needing to simply access the resources available, which points to a continued need for training to understand the dynamics of IPV.

Recommendations include:

Conduct a formal climate survey and collect data to identify factors focused on the community climate and norms affecting the health, mental health, and academic success of students as it relates to IPV, sexual harassment, and dating violence;
Consider going beyond the confines of the classroom to include social-emotional learning outside the classroom (ex. teaching emotional regulation skills in sports) and expand students’ access to resources (i.e. programs, professionals) beyond the school;
Establish and enforce rules and regulations that explicitly spell out how employees should treat students as well as how they should treat one another; and
Design student and family support re-education opportunities that include processing family history of trauma and viewing students in their full environment and all the contributing factors that led to their offending behavior.

Implementation of Bringing in the Bystander & Shifting Boundaries Programming

Overall, the qualitative data suggests that the implementation of Shifting Boundaries and Bringing in the Bystander programming and Title IX policy have had an impact on deterring future IPV, sexual harassment, and dating violence across schools and campuses. However, to be executed properly, it requires a coordinated effort supported by all key stakeholders (i.e. lead administration, school personnel, students, and families), interactive and continuous training, and transparent reporting procedures and policies. Participants identified high rates of support, but inconsistent levels of involvement from school administration, high rates of support, but low levels of involvement from school personnel, low rates of participation and low levels of support from parents, and high rates of participation and emerging levels of support from students. Participants noted that the COVID-19 pandemic, differing viewpoints held by community members on a myriad of topics such as gender and aggression, a lack of investment from staff largely because of competing priorities, and resistance from parents have all had a negative impact on program and policy implementation efforts. When there was significant participation, critical buy-in, a defined incident response process, sufficient time, access, and financial investment, participants felt the most supported.

Program Impact

Interviewees shared examples that show that the programming for Shifting Boundaries and/or Bringing in the Bystander has increased prosocial attitudes and behaviors among students. Participants saw a pattern in which after engaging in class discussions, students would frequently interrupt and correct harmful peer behavior witnessed in other areas of the school. Students readily embraced language covered in the curriculum and utilized it successfully, demonstrating awareness of consent and repercussions while holding their classmates accountable for their behavior. Participants’ comments also indicated that teachers encourage student programming and recognize its immediate benefits.

Recommendations include:

Take on a school-wide, and when applicable system or county-wide, prevention approach that looks at students and families/caregivers holistically and through a social, cultural, and trauma-informed lens;
Allocate the necessary resources (i.e. personnel, funds, and time) to ensure that programming is prioritized and isn’t adversely affected by other priorities and emerging needs;
Encourage open communication with parents by anticipating their worries and providing chances for continued conversation, resource sharing, and maintaining trust; and
In order for staff to comprehend and effectively reinforce concepts acquired in the program with students throughout the day, provide opportunities for teachers and administrators to participate in programming and training.

Programming Evaluation

In addition to these key informant interviews, a full evaluation was conducted for both Shifting Boundaries and Bringing in the Bystander implementations by DVSS in Wilmington, NC. This evaluation included: fidelity checklists with principles-focused evaluation components, activity-based assessments, pre and post surveys for direct responses from the students, and teacher training post surveys.

The last implementation by DVSS of Shifting Boundaries took place in Fall of 2019.^[7] At that time, 867 students had received Shifting Boundaries programming under the DELTA Impact implementation. Based on the results of the Fall 2019 implementation, we were close to or achieved our target by showing sufficient increase on our indicator for ten of our eighteen outcomes:

Implementation of the Shifting Boundaries curriculum with fidelity;
Effective training of facilitators to implement and teachers at schools for Shifting Boundaries;
Student connectedness to school;
Skills with regards to solving problems non-violently;
Knowledge about healthy friendships;
Youth involvement in IPV/TDV program activities (our reach for implementation);
Youth feelings of involvement in IPV/TDV program activities;
The state knowledge base with data from a community-level prevention effort;
Safety in school for students; and
Knowledge around boundaries, boundary violations, and sexual harassment.

Secondary data trends also contributed to meeting two additional targets in our final report by showing sufficient increase on the indicator for sanctions related to IPV within program settings and increase in safety in school for students at participating schools based on school crime data.

Bringing in the Bystander was implemented at New Hanover County High Schools starting in Spring 2021 and DVSS continued to implement Bringing in the Bystander until Fall of 2022. During that time over 2300 students received the Bringing in the Bystander program under the DELTA Impact implementation. Based on the results of the Spring 2021 virtual implementation, we were close to or achieved our target by showing sufficient increase on our indicator for nine of the sixteen outcomes including:

Implementation of the Bringing in the Bystander curriculum with fidelity;
Skills with regards to solving problems non-violently;
Knowledge about healthy friendships;
Association with prosocial peers;
Student buy-in related to IPV prevention;
Norms intolerant of Relationship Abuse (RA), Sexual Violence (SV), and Sexual Harassment (SH);
Knowledge about ways to be an active bystander;
Student involvement in IPV program activities; and
The state knowledge base with data from a community-level prevention effort.

Based on the results of the Fall 2021-Fall 2022 in-person implementation, we were close to or achieved our target by showing sufficient increase on our indicator for seven of the sixteen outcomes including:

Implementation of the Bringing in the Bystander curriculum with fidelity;
Sanctions related to IPV within program settings;
Knowledge about healthy relationships;
Knowledge about ways to be an active bystander;
Student involvement in IPV program activities (our reach for implementation);
Student feelings of involvement in IPV program activities; and
The state knowledge base with data from a community-level prevention effort.

In the next iteration of DELTA, DELTA AHEAD, DVSS will shift their teen-focused work to Promoting Positive Community Norms with Teens which will focus more directly on the target outcomes that have yet to be reached: reduction in attitudes supportive of aggression and negative attitudes regarding masculinity and femininity, as well as an outcome with mixed results- increase in association with prosocial peers.

^[7] After this time, Shifting Boundaries was still being implemented in all middle schools in New Hanover County Schools but DVSS was not the agency supporting implementation. The shift was due to a combination of the pandemic, shifts in partnership agreements, and a large, unanticipated expansion of Bringing in the Bystander implementation.

Appendices

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Table of Contents

I. Introduction

I. Data and Methods

Qualitative Findings

Defining Gender

Gender Demonstrations

Gender in School(s)/Campus Policies

Gender Expectations in School System/Campus

Gender Stereotypes that Arise in Regard to School Personnel

Gender Stereotypes that Arise Between School Personnel and Students

Gender Stereotypes that Arise Between Students

Treatment of Students who Identify Outside the Gender Binary

Behavior/Impacts Related to Gender Stereotypes

Connection between Gender, Aggression, and Interpersonal Violence

Difference in Behavioral Issues/Conduct Violations based on Gender

Difference in Discipline/Sanctions Based on Gender

Difference in School Achievement/Performance based on Gender

“Boys Will Be Boys”

Impacts of the COVID-19 Pandemic

Incidents of Interpersonal Violence, Sexual Harassment, & Dating Violence

Documentation of Incidents

Incident Reporting Systems

Protocol for Responding to Student Disclosures

Protocol for Responding to Staff Disclosures

Student Approval

Sanctions for Perpetration of Interpersonal Violence, Sexual Harassment and Dating Violence

How Expulsion is Determined

Accountability Measures

Accountability Challenges

Ideal/Effective Sanctions

Norms Around Aggression

Define Aggression

Define Bullying

Define Sexual Harassment

Aggression & Sexual Harassment in Schools/On Campus

Between School Personnel

Between School Personnel & Students

Between Students

Aggression Worthy of Intervention

Appropriate Aggression

Social-Emotional Learning

Norms Intolerant of IPV & Dating Violence

Causes of IPV & Dating Violence

Cultural/Community Factors

Who is to Blame?

Solutions for IPV & Dating Violence

Resources & Capacity to Implement Bring in the Bystander

Barriers/Challenges with Bring in the Bystander

Support/Buy-in for Bring in the Bystander

Different Ways Bring in the Bystander Could be Supported

Resources Provided

Resources & Capacity to Implement Shifting Boundaries

Barriers/Challenges with Shifting Boundaries

Support/Buy-in for Shifting Boundaries

Different Ways SB Could be Supported

Resources Provided

Impact of Programming

Conclusions and Recommendations

Promoting Gender Inclusivity and Empathy

Interpersonal Violence, Sexual Harassment, and Dating Violence Incident Response

Protocol Benefits and Challenges

Staff Supports

Impact of Aggressive Behaviors

Implementation of Bringing in the Bystander & Shifting Boundaries Programming

Program Impact

Programming Evaluation

Appendices